We drove to the elementary school as a family Thursday morning. We planned to walk, but then the rain came. Our oldest is now a veteran at the local elementary school and confidently searched for her 3rd grade classroom. Ezra, our middle boy, approached his first day of Kindergarten more cautiously, nerves mingled with anticipation. The first day is always a bit intimidating, but that fear and initial adrenaline almost always mean things goes better than expected.
Dad walked Ella to her classroom and I accompanied Ezra. We felt tinges of nostalgia and marked the special moment with a first day photo. Smiles accompanied our goodbyes and we called our last “I love yous,” along with wishes for an awesome day. There were dry eyes all around.
Over the past week, my Facebook newsfeed has featured adorable pictures of little (and not so little) ones headed off for the first day of school. Some hold chalkboard or intricately painted signs announcing the year and grade. Many times, their parents reveal a morning of tears, sorrow for days gone by, and a sad realization that this day will never come again.
And I get it. I really do. I’ve read the blog posts about how fast the years slip by, advising me to not take any moment for granted. Moms have approached me at the supermarket to ooh and ahh over my little ones, then to remind me that these days are fleeting. Sometimes the best way to treasure up a moment, to truly savor it, is by letting the tears come.
But what if your first days don’t bring tears? Are you somehow missing the point? Do you treasure the moment less?
Sometimes treasuring the moment can mean celebration. Ella couldn’t wait to return to school, see her friends, and meet her teacher. Ezra craves structure, even if he doesn’t know it yet. We loved our spring/summer adventure together, but we also cherish independent experiences. Maybe the tears will come, maybe I’ll feel a sense of loss in the weeks or months to come. Maybe I won’t.
I picked our kids up in a gaggle of excited chatter. Each couldn’t wait to share the news of their day and delight in the details. Ezra slyly declared, “Mom, it wasn’t a good day. It was a GREAT day!” And I didn’t feel jealous of their time away or sad for a summer gone by. I listened and told them of my day, eager to hug them and share an after-school snack.
I see many firsts and last ahead, none lessened by age. Some days won’t come again, but a future of moments lies ahead. Some will mean tears. Others, a sigh of relief and a nap. I don’t have to cry or take a photo or even write a blog post to imprint them in my memory. I’m not even required to savor every one. I’ll just do my best to live in the moment, appreciate it, hold in the sweetness without counting its passing as a loss, and look forward to what lies ahead.
I hear ya, Mindy! I am pretty sure I will share your sentiments when my son starts school. I know a lot of my friends were in tears at their first day care drop off… but I found I reacted it as a celebration, too. The structure of day care has my son thriving, and the time to work outside of being a Mom has made be a better Mother!