I’ve been humbled by the generosity of my neighbors, friends, and religious community during the past 3 weeks. My family lives across the country from our home state while my husband attends law school. When I gave birth to our 4th baby through a surprise c-section on October 6th, we had immediate help. Friends helped with school pick ups, offered to bring meals, entertained our toddler, washed and folded loads of laundry, and more. They eased many of my concerns, encouraging me to recover properly, knowing my husband and family were supported.
Every situation is different and some families are more comfortable with different types of help. While I find it hard to ask for help and awkward to accept it at times, I never regret saying, “yes” and “thank you.” We often feel uncomfortable imposing upon people, but I suggest taking the initiative when it comes to supporting a postpartum mom. Say “I’m going to” and “When can I?” Remind your friend that rest and healing are not luxuries, but necessities.
You will know your friend best. Perhaps she isn’t comfortable having others hold her baby yet or is very particular about housekeeping. Maybe she is like me and will happily accept either. Just follow you instincts and you can find a loving way to make a big difference for a recovering mom. Always remember, small gestures of kindness can make a big impact.
- Order a pizza and have it delivered.
- Pick up the older kids for a play date.
- Offer to help with school pick ups and drop offs and extra-curricular activities.
- Bring mom a milk shake as a late night treat.
- Make a meal and ask for a specific date to bring it. “Do you have a meal for Tuesday or Wednesday? Which day would work best?”
- Make a milk/bread/cereal run.
- Wash and fold a few loads of laundry.
- Give a post c-section mom a ride because she probably can’t drive for a week or two,
- Snuggle baby while mom sleeps or showers.
- Bring mom some new, cozy lounge or yoga pants, some no-slip socks, or luxurious shower gel.
- Create a gift of easy, healthy snacks – cheese and crackers, washed and prepped fruit and veggies, hummus, nuts, etc.
- Give mom a brand new water bottle to keep her hydrated.
- Drop lunch by one afternoon.
- Create a Friday in-home movie date night basket with candy, popcorn, and a redbox movie code.
- Bring by something simple and new to entertain siblings. This could be a dollar store toy, a new coloring book, or stickers.
- Offer to sweep, empty the dishwasher, dust, wipe down the bathrooms, mop a floor.
- Bring mom a new magazine, book, or book on tape to keep her entertained.
- Make a rice hot pack to soothe mom’s aching back or c-section scar pain and bring it to her.
- Bring by a few freezer meals to be reheated when needed in the weeks ahead.
- Check in after the newborn stage, when moms can feel overwhelmed, and let her know she is still remembered and supported.
What would you add to this list?
drop by on a random afternoon and offer to hold the baby while mom showers. (especiall if she is home without another adult to care for the baby)