Depending on what you’re talking about, 3 months can feel like a blink of an eye or an eternity. Your newborn baby is 3 months before you know it, but the 3 months until you turn 16 moves at a snail’s pace. 3 months of winter can feel never ending, but 3 months of summer feels like 3 weeks. A 3 month unpaid suspension would be an endless nightmare, but a 3 month paid vacation would probably be over in a flash.Right after you’ve had a baby, 3 months doesn’t seem nearly long enough to wait before being intimate again. But lose a baby and the idea of waiting 3 months to try and conceive again feels like an eternity.
My ob offered to meet with me this week. At first, I thought it wasn’t necessary, but when my voice cracked talking to the nurse about it over the phone, I decided that it might be a good idea. My ob delivered Ezra, so I am so grateful I already have a trusting relationship with him. He has these very kind eyes and a very matter-of-fact, yet compassionate manner. I felt so relieved when I didn’t break down and blubber in his office (I did this already on Sunday and I’m crossing my fingers that the big cries are over).
Talking to him actually made a big difference for me. In this situation, you feel like so much is out of control. You try to explain the blood tests and GHC levels to people when they ask, but you’re not entirely certain yourself. My doctor really helped me understand what happens to your body when you miscarry, why it’s so important that your GHC levels go down, and why you need to allow your body time to heal. He also helped me understand the risks of miscarriage (1 in every 4 pregnancies).
And he explained to me why it is recommended that I give my body 3 months to heal. Why letting myself heal, taking prenatal vitamins and waiting it out until June would be best.
We’ve always been very blessed when it comes to conceiving. Ella took 3 months, Ezra 2, then this pregnancy in 1. But life is tricky and it could be 6, 9, 12 months before I’m pregnant again. But, for now, I am focusing on 3. That I can quantify and control a bit.
As with all challenging times in life, there are always points of light that come from difficult experiences. There is an enhanced sweetness for me this week in the little things my children do. I appreciate my husband so much and just want to be close to him. My friends have shown themselves to be treasures. While I might not understand it all and sometimes I’m frustrated, sad, angry, and confused, I am also humbled and grateful for the incredible people in my life.
I haven’t been through miscarriage, but I have done plenty of waiting in my life. It’s never easy. But in the grand scheme of things, I bet it will be June before you know it….
Thank you for sharing this experience with us. Are you area there are a number of blogs of women going through the same emotions as you?
You are so right, waiting after a miscarriage is extremely difficult. I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy and was devastated. Waiting was the hardest part. Ironically, most women undergo a fertility spike in the months following miscarriage. We have since had 4 beautiful children. Hang in there, Mama. Give your body the rest it needs and you will be in a better position to carry your next angel.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know it will seem like forever until June & I’m praying it seems to go by like a flash for you.
Hopefully 3 months will fly for you. I know it’s rough. I didn’t take my doctors advice, and became pregnant the very next month after I miscarried. I felt like waiting seemed unfair, and did what I wanted. Not the best advice, but thankfully my baby and I were both healthy, and now that baby will be 6 years old in June! God is good.
Hang in there. Praying for you! Hugs!!
I am so sorry! I’ve been there. I miscarried my second pregnancy and it was devastating! It honestly took me 6 months to get over the loss. It was a frozen embryo cycle but I was still very hopeful when I was told my HCG levels they were off the charts! Anyway, I knew something was wrong all along and at 7 weeks I miscarried. It took about 2 months just to clear my body of the hormone levels. I had to go every other day to measure them the 1st week then once a week for the next few weeks. But, the eventually went down and at 6 months I was given to go ahead to start a fresh new cycle. Now I have my baby girl and all is better in the world! :o) Give your body and mind time to process. I’m sort of glad I did that. I helped me grieve fully. And yes, you are allowed to grieve after all, you wanted that baby!