Sometimes I watch my 3 year-old interact with the world and I envy her a bit. When we go out and she sees other children, Ella says “Look! Friends.” It doesn’t matter what age they are or if she’s ever seen them before. For Ella, the world is populated by friends and she’s eager to meet them where ever she goes.
We went out together shopping on Saturday and I smiled as she walked up to babies and started conversations with other children. Don’t worry – she doesn’t quite have this same openness when it comes to adults. While I waited in line at the portrait studio to pick up photos, she made her way to groups of children and joined in their fun. As we stood in line for our turn on the carasoul, Ella started talking with the two girls in front of her like old pals. They weren’t quite as friendly as she’d expected. I quickly got in “mommy fix-it mode” and explained that other kids are sometimes shy and not to worry about it . She was over it quickly, though, and didn’t really need mom to “rescue” her.
I know that, in some ways, my daughter gets this natural openness from me. I talk to strangers in line, try to get the frowning clerk to smile, and can hold a conversation with just about anyone. But I envy her at this stage of her life because she approaches others without reservation. She doesn’t pause for a moment wondering “Will they like me?” and this doesn’t come from any conceit on her part. Truth is, she has the opportunity to interact with children of all ages through church, play groups, our babysitting trade, and school. So far, her experiences have been safe and her friendliness has paid off.
When I find myself wondering when the social awkwardness or the fear of rejection will set in, I try to shake it off. I hope Ella continues to approach the world this way throughout her life, engaging people, and building friendships wherever she goes. I hope she continues to shake it off and move on when some people don’t respond in kind, realizing that sometimes people simply aren’t looking for a new friend, the timing isn’t right, or a myriad of other things.
It never ceases to amaze me how much my children have to teach me about myself and about life. Sometimes the most paralyzing thing in life, especially as a woman, can be to overanalyze and to take everything personally. I have allowed myself to be a victim of this far too often in my life, especially when I was younger. As I’ve matured, I’ve enjoyed my relationships so much more when I’ve moved forward with confidence in myself and a genuine interest in others. I guess it’s a bit of life coming full circle – there are times when we truly should behave more like a 3 year-old.
It’s great she’s so outgoing like her mom. I hope my girls will go that way a little more…but I’m more shy & reserved….so it makes sense.