If You Give a Mom… Wednesdays

If You Give a Mom Your Time…


As I look over my experiences as a mom, I don’t think I can underestimate the the value of the right kind of support from friends and family. It’s common to complain about interfering mother-in-laws, judgmental people in public, or know-it-alls when you’re a mom. I’ve certainly experienced my fair share of unsolicited advice and unappreciated interference. But I’ve also had some incredible experiences that I know helped me to build my confidence as a mom, hang in there during tough moments, and figure out my own “mommy style.”

One experience in particular came to mind last night as I was discussing breastfeeding with some friends. I decided that I would breastfeed while I was pregnant with my first child. I didn’t know much about it and hadn’t really been around too many breastfeeding women. My circle of friends included a few breastfeeding moms, though, and they were wonderful examples for me.

Deciding to nurse is one thing, preparing for it is another, and actually doing it is something else entirely. I read books to prepare myself, purchased supplies, talked to friends, and attended a childbirth class. When the nurses handed me my little girl to feed for the first time, however, it was challenging. I soon discovered that, while breastfeeding is natural, moms and babies don’t automatically get it right the first time…or the fifth time…or the twentieth. Add nurses with their breast shields, tiny bottles, and conflicting advice to this, and a new mama can become quickly overwhelmed.

We brought our baby home and I was sore and frustrated. On top of this, Ella was jaundiced and the doctor recommended feeding her on a very strict schedule. I spoke to an amazing woman from the Le Leche League who helped me to relax, trust my instincts, and not worry so much about the jaundice. I still felt uncertain and discouraged at times.

My sweet friend, Mary, offered to come over one day and help me out. A mom of two with her own baby, Mary had plenty on her plate, but she took time out of her schedule to care for me. I remember her coming over and talking to me while she dusted my house and helped wipe down the kitchen. While I appreciated the help with the house, her conversation meant the most to me. She even demonstrated how she nursed her baby boy for me and talking me through the process, reassuring me that it was normal for breastfeeding to have a learning curve.

As I struggled to help my daughter to latch on and nurse comfortably, Mary kindly talked me through it. She explained how I should take Ella off if she was hurting me and helped us to figure out how to get her to latch on correctly.. I can’t tell you how much it meant to have someone give me permission to take the baby off and try again. She explained how breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt and encouraged me to hang in there.

Honestly, I always feel emotional when I recount this experience.  I credit this sweet friend with helping me through the initial confusion of breastfeeding and I am so incredibly grateful to her. My daughter nursed until she was 13 months and my son is now into his 11th month of nursing. While it can have it’s challenges, the benefits of breastfeeding for outweigh any of the negatives for my family. It’s nature’s perfect (and free food), it provides immunities, and it’s also fantastic for mom. I am so grateful for Mary’s simple kindness that’s had such a positive impact on both me and my children!

This is just one story of a friend who has made a difference for me as a mom. The truth is, a myriad of people have positively impacted me as a mom in so many different ways; through encouragement, support, tough love, a shoulder to cry on, a good joke, a heartfelt note, etc. 


I plan to share a new experience each Wednesday and would love it if you would join me! Simply write a post about anyone (friend, family member, spouse, child, author, etc.) who has positively impacted you as a mom, Title it “If You Give a Mom… Wednesdays and return her with a link to share!


I don’t have a fancy button to link this to (yet), but please refer people to this post and come back and share your link!