If You Give a Mom…Mondays

(I originally started this on Wednesdays, but decided that this would be a great way to start out a week instead.)


If You Give a Mom Permission


Sometimes one of the worst things we do as mothers is spend a day, a week, or more focusing on all of the things we’re doing wrong. We all start out planning for our little ones, often with ambitious goals and high expectations for ourselves. I can think of a long list of “nevers” and “shoulds” I firmly believed in while pregnant with my first. And I proudly stuck to some of them, but some days I slipped. 


After my second came along, I found that meeting some of my own expectations became even more difficult. A demanding toddler and a consistently fussy baby make for some challenging times. Some days, the tv came on far more than I would have liked, meals ended up being far more rudimentary than planned, and it felt like no one received the attention they wanted/deserved. 


During these times – when I lose your patience too often, get bored from repeatedly playing my little ponies, suffer from a case of grumpies due to a lack of quality sleep, say “no” instead of the positive alternative too many times in one day, or simply feel discouraged by my mommy performance for the day – my mom has always helped me to gain perspective.


Mom is a terrific cheerleader during the good times and it’s so wonderful to have her compliment me as a mother. She is also a such a great support during the difficult times and will always say, “Give yourself a break. You don’t have to be perfect. You’re doing a great job.” These words are simple, but they make such a difference for me. Having someone I love and admire give me permission to give myself a break always helps me to take a step back and gain perspective. Then I can take a deep breath and get myself back on track.


When a friend tells me they’re feeling discouraged and they’re clearly having one of those bad mom days, I’ll often find myself repeating my mom’s words to them. I think this is such an essential part of supporting each other as moms. Motherhood is a continuous learning process and we’re all figuring it out. When you start to get frustrated or you’re not quite getting it right, give yourself permission to go on easy on yourself. You don’t need to be perfect.


This is just one story of a friend who has made a difference for me as a mom. The truth is, a myriad of people have positively impacted me as a mom in so many different ways; through encouragement, support, tough love, a shoulder to cry on, a good joke, a heartfelt note, etc.

I don’t have a fancy button to link this to (yet), but please refer people to this post and come back and share your link!