I wrote a post on Friday sharing some of the struggles I’ve been facing emotionally lately. I was deeply touched by the heartfelt, thoughtful responses I received. Comments from two dear friends really touched on some things I’ve been struggling with and I’ve been pondering them the last few days. As I work through all of this, I know there are others who are struggling with their own challenges as well. This post will most likely seem like a random posting of disjointed thoughts, but I wanted to share some of the things that have inspired me, brought me hope, and helped me through the past week.
My dear friend – and kindred spirit – Rochelle, who has struggled through a difficult year and the recent loss of her father, wrote the following:
Find your anchor in faith–the rest will come around. You gave me the advise to be fragile–to feel and then to become stronger. I love you girl! 🙂 Give your self permission to have moments for yourself.
My wonderful sister, Merilee, who is also a treasured friend, shared this wise advise:
I read a funny thing lately that said, when life hands you lemons, make cranberry juice, then watch how confused everyone is as they try to figure out what the heck just happened.
Sometimes, when life hands us lemons, we try to figure out what we’re supposed to learn,what it might mean, etc. Sometimes, we aren’t meant to make anything out of those stupid lemons.
Remember that the Atonement wasn’t just so that we could give to the Savior all our sins. He didn’t suffer just to know what our remorse felt like. He suffered to know all our pain. Even what you feel now. Give it to Him. When all is said and done and you just can’t do it anymore, give it away. Leave those stupid lemons to someone who knows how to make lemonade.
As I’ve thought about how to let go, how to hand my pain over to Him, I’ve come back to a story I read recently in Jeffrey R. Holland’s book Trusting Jesus (This also comes from a 1993 General Conference Talk, which I’ve pulled the excerpt from).
Jeffrey R. Holland’s neighbors, the Lewis family, discovered that their son, Jimmie, had leukemia. Elder Holland explains that the mother “recounted for me the unspeakable fear and grief that came to their family when Jimmie’s illness was diagnosed. She spoke of the tears and the waves of sorrow that any mother would experience with a prognosis as grim as Jimmie’s was.” The family “turned to God with urgency and with faith and with hope. They fasted and prayed, prayed and fasted.”
One day, the mother came home “weary and worried, feeling the impact of so many days—and nights—of fear being held at bay only by monumental faith.” And then she had the following experience:
As she entered her home, four-year-old Katie ran up to her with love in her eyes and a crumpled sheaf of papers in her hand. Holding the papers out to her mother, she said enthusiastically, “Mommy, do you know what these are?”
Sister Lewis said frankly her first impulse was to deflect Katie’s zeal and say she didn’t feel like playing just then. But she thought of her children—all her children—and the possible regret of missed opportunities and little lives that pass too swiftly. So she smiled through her sorrow and said, “No, Katie. I don’t know what they are. Please tell me.”
“They are the scriptures,” Katie beamed back, “and do you know what they say?”
Sister Lewis stopped smiling, gazed deeply at this little child, knelt down to her level, and said, “Tell me, Katie. What do the scriptures say?”
“They say, ‘Trust Jesus.’ ” And then she was gone.
Sister Lewis said that as she stood back up, holding a fistful of her four-year-old’s scribbling, she felt near-tangible arms of peace encircle her weary soul and a divine stillness calm her troubled heart.
Katie Lewis, “angel and minister of grace,” I’m with you. In a world of some discouragement, sorrow, and overmuch sin, in times when fear and despair seem to prevail, when humanity is feverish with no worldly physicians in sight, I too say, “Trust Jesus.” Let him still the tempest and ride upon the storm. Believe that he can lift mankind from its bed of affliction, in time and in eternity.
Each time I read this beautiful story, my eyes well up with tears and I am filled with peace. I needed these reminders. I need to have faith like a child. To trust in Him and let Him share my burdens. I need to trust Jesus.
During the most difficult times in my life – my father’s illness, his death, and the times of sorrow and depression that followed – I’ve turned to the seemingly simple, but often profound, music of Michael McLean. I’ve turned to his songs again and again throughout my life. During the times of my life where I’ve felt the most broken, discouraged, confused, and hurt, these songs have buoyed me up, helped me to hang on, touch the depths of my soul, and confirmed the things I know to be true.
Here are some excerpts from songs that have meant so much to me and I’m listening to as I type this. And I’m hoping that if there is someone else out there who is in despair, grieving, or struggling, that they will find hope and comfort in these words as well.
From Hold On, The Light Will Come by Michael McLean
It’s a message every one of us must learn
That the answers never come without a fight
And when it seems you’ve struggled far too long
Just hold on, hold on, there will be light
Hold on. Hold on. the light will come.
If you feel trapped inside a never-ending night
If you’ve forgotten how it feels to feel the light
If you’re half-crazy thinking you’re the only one
who’s afraid the light will never reall come –
Just hold on. Hold on. The light will come!
The message of this moment is so clear
And as certain as the rising of the sun
If your world is filled with darkness, doubt and fear
Just hold on, hold on, the light will come.
From Let it Go by Michael McLean
Let it go. Letting go opens up the heart.
There is a new day hungry to start.
You can’t change what has hurt you so
But you will heal if you can let it go.
From You’re Not Alone (Sung at my father’s funeral) by Michael McLean
And when you cry,
You’re just letting go
A heartache deep inside.
So tomorrow there’ll be
Sunshine and sky.
And love close by.
You’re not alone.
And I know that it’s not easy,
But I know that it won’t last
‘Cause one who loves you more than me
I sending blessings fast.
You’re not alone.
Say it one more time:
“I’m not alone.”
And even when it’s hard
To find the words,
You’re always heard.
You’re not alone.
From Gentle by Michael McLean
Like the Shepherd leads his flock
With gentle commands,
With his gentle voice that
Only hearts understand,
One thing we can know for certain,
He has borne the awful burden
So we can be gentle with ourselves.
Oh my gosh I heard that hold on song on KBYR(BYU radio in Rexburg) and didn’t know who sang it or what it was called or who wrote it. Such a beautiful song. Thanks so much for sharing this! I want to find the sheet music!
Mindy. I read this post today randomly as it was related to your unconditional love post… Nearly 6 years later…thank you. I needed to read this again. Life can be tough. We can overcome challenges and trials and struggles and feeling down. I love you.