Toddlers and Teenagers: An (Unscientific) Comparison Study

Next time some well-meaning middle-aged mama comes up to me in the grocery store, smiles adoringly at my snotty-nosed, messy-haired, wiggling in the cart little ones and says, “Enjoy them when they’re little. One day they’ll be teenagers and (insert future misery here)”, I am going to ask if they’d like to participate in a brief toddler/teenager comparison survey that goes something like this:

1. Does your child suffer from unexpected an inexplicable mood swings?
2. Do you sometimes struggle to understand the phrases or lingo your child uses?
3. Does your child occasionally embarrass you in public because they are sloppy, ill-mannered, or prone to blurt out embarrassing things?
4. Do you sometimes argue with your child about the appropriateness of their clothing?
5. Is your child willful?
6. Is your child struggling with wanting to be independent?
7. Does your child have unreasonable wants/demands?
8. Does your child occasionally shock you with the poignant things he or she says?
9. Can your child’s words sometimes cut you like a knife?
10. Does it sometimes feel like you are speaking to an empty room?
11. Does your child suffer from selective hearing?
12. Are you trying to teach your child about responsibility, consequences, and choices? Does is sometimes feel like you’re just not getting through?
13. At the end of the day, do you feel exhausted by the emotional roller coaster that is a day with your child?

I will then show them the results of the same survey taken by me.

Same answers.

Go appreciate your teenager before they become an adult and you long for the days long gone.

It’s been a rough week here at our house. Our 3 1/2 year-old/mini-teenager is really challenging us. But here’s the thing about children: Give it another week and I’ll be boasting about my little angel. Like I’ve said before, Every Age Has it’s Madness and Wonder.