When my husband called to tell me that we were invited to dinner with a couple from Argentina on Monday night, I felt some trepidation. Between the four of us, the two men are bi-lingual, she speaks Spanish only, and my Spanish is rusty at best. The husband, Cesar, came for a visit perhaps a month ago and we enjoyed his company very much. I expected his wife to be wonderful as well, but fretted about the pressure that comes with our language barrier.
I needn’t have worried. While it is admittedly exhausting by the end of the an evening spent overcoming language differences, Carolina proved to be just as delightful as her husband. She is open to new experiences, intelligent, enthusiastic, and I instantly knew we would be friends. I actually suspected that we might do a bit better without our husbands as crutches. Nothing stops a conversation faster than asking “Come se dice?” every other word.
I invited Carolina to go shopping with me and the kids on Wednesday afternoon. Once again, I worried a bit about the language barrier, but wanted her to have a good experience here in the states. Wednesday came and turned out to be a crazy day with a semi-sick baby and lots of obligations. When it came time to pick Carolina up, I was rushing out the door, frantically searching for our mini Spanish/English dictionary. All I could find was a gargantuan one from my husband’s college days, but it was better than nothing.
Once again, I worried for nothing. My instincts on Monday were correct: Without our husband’s or the pressure of dinner conversation, we figured things out as we went along, using gestures and the best basic words we knew. Carolina, it turned out, did know some basic English phrases from her school days and had eagerly quizzed her husband the night before. I found that my Spanish, studied more than ten years ago and sadly unused since, was lacking, but I got by. We had a terrific time together and Carolina loved the words and phrases “cute,” “come on,” and “pacifier.” I loved how she and her husband always called each other “mi amor” and adore the phrase “que lindo.” Plus, it’s corny, but true, that we spoke the common language of shopping.
Our family drove them to the airport this afternoon and it saddened me to think she was going away so soon. Despite our challenges, we discovered so many commonalities and I am eager to get to know her better. It’s rare to meet someone so open and engaged in life. I can’t wait for them to return so we can get our little girls together, make them dinner, and help each other learn new languages.
In just a short week, this terrific couple taught me an important lesson. I think I have a tendency to see barriers or obstacles too often when faced with a new situation. It’s a good thing to be thoughtful, but I also don’t want to miss out on great experiences because I let my fears or worries get in the way.
My husband faces life with much less trepidation. He went on a 2 year mission for our church in Argentina at 19 and fell in love with the Spanish language and Argentina. He’s maintained his Spanish over the past ten years and dreams of living in different places throughout the world. It’s funny that he married me because I am much more cautious.
But lately I feel myself changing. I think it truly started when my dear husband encouraged me to apply as a part-time writer for the local free paper last year. I’ve always dreamed of writing professionally, but always saw the obstacles. I went ahead and applied and wondered how I’d manage it with the kids. With his support, however, I’ve managed it and loved it. I feel different since I took this risk. More enthusiastic about life. More alive. Eager to see what comes next. It’s challenging, but I feel satisfied meeting the challenge every week.
Now I wonder, what other challenges could enliven my world if I didn’t only see obstacles? I’ve always been fearful of living in another country where I don’t speak the language, but could I do it? And what would it mean for me if I tried? As I face the future, I hope to change my perspective. Where I previously saw obstacles, I plan to see opportunities.
Maybe it’s because I never think more than 5 minutes ahead into the future, and therefore don’t think about possible problems, but I think living in a country where you don’t speak the language isn’t as big a deal as you might think. Unless you’re living somewhere 3rd world, someone always knows English and if you’re willing and eager to learn their language, then people are always willing to try communicating with you. This was true for me even in stoic Scandinavia.
Thank you for linking this post, I loved it! I think it’s wonderful that the two of you were able to manage so well without translators!
I married a Cuban, and while he speaks English well, some of his family slip in and out between English and Spanish during a single sentence! LOL