The Star of My Own Love Story

Tim and I were watching a movie recently and the characters had one of those sweet moments where they quietly, instinctively reached for each other’s hands and began their romance. I felt a fleeting moment of loss realizing that I’ll never have those “first” moments again or the anticipation of what might be or the thrill of new love. In a new relationship, being together is like an adrenaline shot and their is a simultaneous pleasure/pain in anticipating what might come next. I can vividly remember the first time Tim held my hand, kissed me, and told me he loved me; the way my breath caught in my throat and my stomach tightened.Our firsts were, of course, the best and that’s why we married.

Thinking about all of this later on, I thought to myself “wait a minute.” It’s true that I am not an ideal candidate for a romantic comedy: I’ve hit 30, had 2 babies (with plans for more), my tummy is less than tight, and my plans involve sticking with the guy I’m with indefinitely. In order for romantic comedies to be interesting, they need drama, something I am not seeking. But a real-life love story, a marriage in year six, doesn’t have to be devoid of thrills, anticipation, and butterflies. There is something to be said for enjoying the romance you have and keeping it fresh and new.

With this in mind, I began looking at my own life anew. I adore my husband and love hanging out with him. He’s my ideal guy. A busy schedule, two kids, and life, however, don’t always make for romance. But something incredible happened when I started re-framing my life and considering what could change up the everyday. A simple adjustment in attitude and I found myself thinking about my husband throughout the day. When he’s home, I look his way and my tummy is aflutter. I just want to be near him and it’s like there’s a magnetic when he’s nearby, making it nearly impossible to be in the room for very long without touching him. And this guy is already mine without all the complications you face while dating. Suddenly I feel like a newlywed and, as a fairly traditional girl, everything was new to me then.

I’ve made a few other changes in my life recently to prioritize my family and those changes, combined with this new outlook, and I feel happier than I have in ages. I also read “The Road” and if that doesn’t make you feel appreciation for your life, I don’t know what will. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been happy, but I feel lighter somehow. I find myself more spontaneous, open to change, eager for what’s next. That feeling of anticipation has returned.  I feel hopeful, grateful, and alive. My life still has rough days, but I feel less frustrated by challenges and less worried when things don’t go exactly as planned – similar to the way I felt when it was all new, but better in a way.

Now I long to go away for the weekend just the two of us and get someone to take some current pictures of us together because I tried to find one and they are sorely lacking. Here’s one of my favorite pictures of the two of us from our honeymoon, posing in a cave at Sea World. That giddy smile I’m sporting, that’s how I feel these days.