Space

My first year of college, I ended up as one of the (un)lucky few to be assigned to a three-person dorm room. While most students were adjusting to being away from home, their college schedule, and sharing a tiny space with one roommate, I was learning to adjust with two. This might not have been such a challenge had the college actually placed us in a room three times the size of the other rooms, rather than one and a half. Instead, we had to figure out how to jam three beds, three desks, and way too much stuff into two closets and far too little space.

Some young women would have probably made the best of this – and the best of friends. Unfortunately, three meant almost never having a moment to ourselves and invariably stepping on each other’s toes. I remember it feeling distinctly like two against one for quite some time and I was the unlucky third. This wasn’t all my roommate’s faults, I know. It was awkward, however, living far from home in the middle of nowhere trying to respect my roommate’s “towel on the doorknob” when her boyfriend came for an entire weekend..

Eventually, the one roommate jumped at a chance opening to move into a two-person room and the third slot never filled in our three-person room. Ah, suddenly we had two people and one and half times the space! My roommate and I actually became terrific friends at this point and had a blast together. I determined from that point on to always have space of my own, forgetting some of the great things I learned sharing a room with by big sister as a girl and sharing this space with my roommate.

Later on in college, I always rented a room to myself in shared apartments with a maximum of four girls. Other women would laugh as they discussed how fun and challenging it was to cram into a two bedroom, six person apartment. I didn’t believe them, but I’m sure now that there were things I missed out on by being so miserly about my space.

Now I’m a mom and the concept of even personal space is a bit foreign. I don’t worry about physical space as much as mental space. It’s essential to make sure I am taking care of the clutter in my head and ensuring that I have a place for my thoughts, ideas, passions, etc. Part of that involves physical alone time, part of it is simply knowing how to re energize my brain throughout the day, and it also involves sharing and connecting with my husband.

Being on vacation and away from home for a month now has me once again reflecting on physical space. I’ve shifted around from place to place, to different sleeping arrangements, and homes. The small freedom I’m used to having by simply going out in my own car is now a luxury I didn’t appreciate. I notice that even my dis feel it, a desire to be settled into “their space.” And I’ve loved my vacation, but I  miss my own space and I think I appreciate it more  now than ever.