Ever since we returned from our month long vacation, there’s been mountains of laundry. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t keep up. Well, I can get it washed (the part I don’t mind), but getting it folded (the second likeliest) and put away (this is truly a miracle) is a challenge.
Last night, I felt incredibly proud. I’d finally succeeded in getting every pile of laundry washed and all I had left was one load of cloth diaper inserts in the dryer. My daughter even “helped” me sort the laundry as I folded it into the right basket. I felt as though a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and even planned on putting the laundry away!
I folded the last item and went to pick up the phone, followed by a few phone calls regarding a commitment Saturday. I am on my last call,waiting to leave a message, and I look over to see the laundry baskets tipped over, laundry unfolded everywhere, kids gleefully inside baskets. I felt my heart race and held my tongue until I could leave a message.
Then the Mommy Meltdown hit.In a way, it felt partially like my fault because I let them play in the laundry before it’s folded and inside the baskets. But I’d just finished folding it and it had taken me days to complete loads. I was furious, sad, hurt, and frustrated. Frustration won and I just started bawling, saying “I just finished folding this! I hate folding laundry! Why would you do this? This takes mommy so much time! All of this work! Why would you do this?“
My kids looked at me like I was insane. But my daughter eventually got it and, after initial resistance, complied and went in the other room to play while I picked up. I just needed a moment alone to wallow in self-pity. If this had been a beginning of the day event, I think I might have laughed about it. But at 5 pm, post Chi Ball morning, a busy day, and dinner still to make, this was more than I could bear. It seems that mommy meltdowns are always over the little things that in that moment take on great importance.
What about you? Ever had a mommy meltdown of your own?
Oh, absolutely! And oddly enough, over laundry, too.
You mean like earlier this week when K put her hands in her poopy diaper after she’d just told me she didn’t have to go and got her hands nasty? Yeah. Washed her hands, wiped her up, took care of her diaper, then put her in her crib and SCREAMED at her. It was awful. Like you say, she looked at me like I was insane. Putting her in her crib was as much for her safety as my sanity. I was shaking all over. What if poop was on everything she was touching? Like a pillow I’d had when I was a kid, which would have to be washed. And our brand new carpet, and a decades old puzzle where the smell would never come out and I’d be continuously worried about e coli, and and and.. luckily, she had realized her mistake immediately after doing it. You hear about 8 month olds doing that, not almost 2 year olds. It was the first time it had happened. Made me wonder if somehow she’s regressing or something. So panic and fear and guilt and yes anger, all built up to an inferno. I’m not proud of it, but I wont’ deny it either. I’m a human, I make mistakes. I get angry and I yell. For a while, it was happening several times a week. Now that my stress level is down, it doesn’t happen nearly as often. You’re not alone. People are so scared of the DCFS police that they won’t admit that it happens. I dare DCFS to come to my house, see the healthy food, semi-clean–hey I DO have a toddler — house, fresh cloth diapers, clean clothes (in baskets 1/2 the time like you), unspoiled milk in the fridge, made beds, and Halloween costumes and birthday and Christmas presents in the works. Think about all you do. Then compare it to one blow up. Even one blow up a day is nothing compared to a lifetime of hugs and kisses and face wipes and giggles and hot chocolate and snow men and bathtub splashes and water wings and braces and puke clean ups and holding when you’re sad or sick or lonely. The truth is, if you’re worried about what you did, then you and the kids are already on your way to healing. Sending you a virtual hug!
Oh man, I can so sympathize. I have mommy meltdowns more often than I should admit. That time of the day and stuff like that is just more than we can bear. It’s tough. xoxo
I’ve had a few mommy meltdowns and they aren’t pretty but they do happen. Mine are usually something small after a day that was filled to the top and the kid threw a few tantrums and I just break! Like you it’s usually something that I let him do and giggle about but was very important to not be touched that day.
If you count mommy meltdown on my cat, then yes…yes I have.
I totally understand where you are coming from though and I know this kind of thing will come when I’m a parent too. It sounds like it can get so overwhelming sometimes! In my opinion, you have the hardest job that anyone in the world could ever have, so there are bound to be some meltdowns along the way.
If I could come over and help you fold laundry, I would in a second!
Oh, you mean like 10 minutes ago when Little Buddy grabbed the glasses right off my face and whacked me in the process, thinking he was being playful? It took forever to pry my poor glasses out of his iron fist without doing any more damage than he was already inflicting on them! They are still in one piece but barely. Thank goodness for flexible frames. 🙁
I actually had my first chance to put him in time-out: strapped him back in the high chair, put it in the corner, and set the timer for 1 minute.
I took alot of deep breaths during that one minute so I could cool down before facing my little monster again.
So as you can see by this comment and the others, you are not the only one with Mommy meltdowns today!
I tagged you in a meme! Check it out if you get some extra time. 🙂
http://www.organicparenthood.com/2010/09/eight-to-eight-to-eight.html
UGH! Laundry! It’s my second worst enemy. Dinner is my first. I’m also I compulsive washer & dryer. Folding and puting away-forget about it!