I woke up thinking of all the things I need to do, should do, have to do, and want to do. There is no way I can accomplish it all. I feel like everywhere I turn there is something to be done, someone who needs something, a task to keep me busy. There are times when I rush around in a whirlwind and thrive off of it. Other times, I look around and it seems impossible. It’s always a struggle for balance and perspective, but I feel way off balance right now.
I’ve written about this challenge before and talked about needing to prioritize. This morning, I’ve decided to make a cleaning/organizing calendar for my home. I’ve known women who mopped on certain days, set aside days to clean their bathrooms, who had specific laundry days. I always thought this wasn’t for me. But I’m drowning in my housework and I feel like my efforts are for naught. There’s always going to be a mess, but I’d like to feel more on top of it.
Before I started writing professionally freelance for a local paper (my dream job), I started a Scentsy business. It’s a wonderful part-time endeavor and I’m grateful for the extra income. But I’ve got myself in a place where I have 2 part-time jobs and I’m a full-time SAHM. I think I balance these fairly well, but need to better schedule time for them as well. I usually try to work on this during nap times or independent play time.
My kids are obviously my priority. I think preschool, play groups, quiet time at home, developing friendships, going to the park, trips to the library, etc. are all extremely valuable. These are important parts of our weeks. The kids also need one-on-one time at home, but I also have to clean and take care of our home. I try to get them engaged, but they are still pretty little. We are seriously working on Ella learning to take responsibility for her toys and picking up, but it is definitely a lot of work up front.
Then there’s my online world. I love my blog. Right now I’m writing instead of doing one of the many things I should be doing because it helps me organize my thoughts, find a release, and feel like I’m not alone. But I have to find better limits for this time too. Maybe set times to turn off the computer throughout the day (Ahhh!) so it’s not a distraction. Maybe be honest with myself that I won’t be able to blog as many days or that I won’t have as much time to dedicate to posts.
On top of it all, someday I’d like to be that woman who bakes her own bread, tends an herb garden, dries fruit, and sews gifts. I want to do online scrapbooking, read more books, write in my journal again, and have some real personal study time. And there has to be time for these things. Maybe not all of them at once, certainly not every day, and maybe just once a month. But I know part of dedicating yourself to becoming more self-sufficient and eco-friendly means developing some of these skills.
I think I need to just take a deep breath today, accomplish what I can, and stop stressing so much about what there is still left to do. I also need to let go of some of the guilt I feel that I can’t stretch myself any further.
Do you ever feel this way? What do you do to help prioritize your life and keep organized?
You describe how I am all the time. Except I only have one kid an no part time jobs. Therefore, I feel like I have ‘no right’ to complain. There are plenty of other people with 3 kids who have cleaner houses than me. I have found though, that I shouldn’t compare. If I get really unhappy with the way my house looks, then I should clean it. As you can tell (maybe), my own blog has been pretty neglected. A lot of it has to do with the fact that the server keeps going down, and I can’t attach photos, and after 1/2 an hour of nothing, well I get ticked off. How can I do anything when it won’t work right? The best thing that I do is just start when I have any chance at all (say if hubby is with kid) and just work work work. He took her to pick up take out the other day. I had about 40 minutes, and I vacuumed bedrooms, swept kitchen/dining area, switched laundry, and cleaned the kitchen up. If they hadnt been gone, I would have switched the laundry. For me, it’s a mental state. It’s like YES I have this little pocket of time how can I best use it. I could have done stuff on the computer, but I decided that cleaning was the best use of my time. Another idea is to do the 15 minute clean up. Just set a timer and do 15 minutes of clean up. Then be satisfied with what you got done (you’d be surprised). My priorities are laundry/diapers and keeping the dishwasher loaded.The rest takes some time for me to do because K likes to get in the way. Playing in dirt I sweep up, attacking the vacuum, begging for soap bubbles to eat when I do dishes (ick).. so. yeah. I do a lot of that sporadically. Forget mopping, that’s for nap time only and VERY sporadic!
Of all the feelings associated w/ motherhood (joy, anger, guilt, love, tenderness, etc.) I think feeling overwhelmed is my least favorite. It’s so hard sometimes. Seems like you do a really great job, Mindy.
I will say that if you have a bread machine, making your own bread is seriously no trouble at all. We have a very healthy go-to recipe for whole wheat bread we make that comes out perfect each time, and it takes all of 2 minutes to toss the ingredients in and turn it on.
Ugh! I often find myself feeling this way and it stinks. And I only have one kiddo so far! One thing that has helped me when I feel this off-balanced is to focus on what I’m eating and on exercise. Nothing time-intensive at all though, since I don’t really want to add anything to my workload when I’m feeling like this.
I have a hard time prioritizing exercise, because when Little Buddy is napping or down for the night it’s the last thing I want to do. I’d much rather be sewing or catching up on others’ blogs! So I make sure to take a long walk with him in the stroller sometime during the day when he’s awake instead. Then I get the benefits of the exercise, my little guy is happy to be outside, and it keeps my spirits up.
My eating habits are terrible when I get stressed/overwhelmed too, so I sometimes drop everything and make sure we have a good, nutritious dinner on the table. Usually nothing fancy, just something we all enjoy (and that doesn’t involve macaroni and cheese). However the rest of the day has gone, it just feels nice to end on a good note with a home-cooked dinner that leaves all of our tummies happy. 🙂
ps. Someone told me once to make a list of all the things I did do during the day, instead of thinking about all of the things I didn’t do. Not a bad idea, eh?
Amen! Okay, right there with you. Maybe it is the change of season that fills me with regret for all I haven’t accomplished yet this summer. But lately I have been in a funk and feeling a little depressed over my less than stellar looking home.
Okay, I only have 2 kiddos, but no part time job. I bake or clean… blog or work in my garden. I wish I could fit in time for everything and have an organized home and nice looking yard. Maybe someday…
This is how I feel most days and I don’t even work from home! My husband had commented the one day that these things didn’t get done all the time when I did work outside the home (before kids) and it isn’t the end of the world if they don’t now. He pointed out that I am busy all day-chasing, feeding, changing, reading, and just caring for my girls. Even though he never complains I feel the weight of having to have everything done because I am home and I see the things I haven’t got done yet.
I made up a weekly list chart and at the bottom I have an odd and ends chart of all the little (and big things) I want to do such as finish a book, rearrange my recipes, etc. I still don’t finish everything but it makes me feel better writing it down. Whatever doesn’t get done on Monday is not crossed off and I know to do it Tuesday,etc. It just makes me feel more in control.
Being prone to both disorganization and overscheduling, I can answer a resounding YES!
And the solution that has worked best for me is to do the thing that needs doing the most and not worry too much about the rest until I can. I try to do the Motivated moms lists, but sometimes even that is more than I can handle. And I make myself sick trying to keep up with everything. I figure it’s okay if the playroom is usually a mess because that’s what it’s for, right? And if I can’t keep up on folding the laundry and we’re living out of laundry baskets…at least it’s clean. I go in spurts, and right now I’m just rying to keep my head above water! Don’t worry, we all go through it!
I am just one big mess… I can’t prioritize cleaning, I just can’t! I’ve tried the lists, the certain days, the 1 minute thing… everything… my house is a disaster… always! I can’t get out from under the mess never mind stay on top of it! My husband is no help either. He criticizes the cleanliness of the house and tells the world I never clean and makes everyone believe he does it all… he lies! He is the one that’s a pack rat. There is so much STUFF in this house it can’t be cleaned. When you do clean something it never looks like you did. I just give up! I want to rent a HUGE DUMPSTER and through away EVERYTHING that is in this house and start from scratch! Thanks for letting me vent today!
I just posted a comment to this and the computer ate it and replied with some error. ARGH!
Basically, we are all right there with you. I struggle every day even though my kids are 4 1/2. I never get everything done. My house is always a mess. Dinner gets burned. I don’t have enough time to write/read. I can’t seem to accomplish anything and I hate when hubs gets home and asks, “So what did you all do today?”
UGH!
This is definitely how I am feeling lately! I have so many things going on right now that I need to learn to prioritize my life better so I can be more stress free! Thanks for posting about this to let us know that we are not alone! Have a great week!