The Horror Movie I Could Not Wake Up From

I am not prone to nightmares. Odd, intricate dreams where the inexplicable happens? Yes. Strange episodes where I never see myself, but experience my dream looking outward, sometimes changing perspectives? Often.  If I wake up from a dream, I can often remember portions here and there. When a child disrupts a dream, I generally shake it and begin a new weird story as I drift back to dream-land.

But the other night felt different. I began a creepy, disturbing dream that seemed to go on forever and picked up even after I went into my son’s room half-awake to sooth him back to sleep. It wasn’t long before the backwoods restaurant scene I entered soon revealed itself as a nightmare…

It’s pitch black out and some friends and I decide to stop into a mom and pop joint for a late night meal. We’re jovial and decide to take a risk and try the special. A man who I keep thinking looks like Clint Eastwood (but is only actually his age and is instead mythically handsome and I am strangely drawn to him) invites a guy from our group to come into his special room to try the special.

I am suddenly transported into this other guy’s body as he enters a room that looks as though it’s made of internal organs. The older man, I’ll call him Clint, displays a devilish grin and tells his “guest” that he is on the menu unless he is clever enough to escape. I think the baby woke me up at this point and I don’t know how, but I escape. Another sucker is invited in for the “special” and I don’t say a word. All I want is to get out of there.

Then I’m me again. Clint approaches me and I feel this incredible attraction to him. He begins to flirt with me and I am suddenly drawn to him in a Twilight/Edward “he’s perfect and I’ll do anything he asks” sort of way. He begins to explain to me how he is immortal and so frustrated by his situation. I want to be with him, but he then starts to tell me how his frustration has transformed into a penchant for cannabalism. He hopes this won’t be a problem for me. Ummmm….? (Odd break in dream. This is very normal for me).

Suddenly I’m in a war-like situation and we are desperately trying to escape horrendous, terrifying predators. The others warn me that the death is worse than I can possibly imagine. I am overwhelmed as I see Clint and some blurry followers who are attacking my comrades by sinking vampire fangs into their necks. My hiding place on my belly behind a bush is clearly vulnerable and I instantly know it’s my time. I’m not sure  how, but I’ve betrayed Clint’s love and I’m going to pay. I feel three distinct shots vibrate through my body – the pain is extreme – then Clint is taking a big bite out of my cheek. This is possibly the most horrific thing I’ve ever dreamed! There’s relief here. I think I’ve woken up.

Unfortunately, all is not over. I fall asleep once again and find myself out hunting with Clint. I am somehow immortal (face intact) and my weird Twilight attraction is making me go along with some creepy scheme. This must become too much for my psyche as he begins killing and piling my friends to bring to a secluded area to send through a wood chipper. I become one of the friends post attack and I devise a way to escape by running to a vehicle. The relief acts as adrenaline and I feel a thrill knowing I might escape my doom. Unfortunately, Clint is quick as lightening and he catches me and makes sure I am unable to run again.

In the last scene, I am yet another victim. I remember how things went for my friend, so I rule out vehicles. As the other bodies make their way through the wood chipper, I silently slither out of the room on my belly. I make my way stealthily through the woods, in constant terror. My only choice seems to be to gradually make my way to a dense forest and never make any sudden moves. It is a waiting game and my chances seem slim. I have never been so terrified as I listen to the bodies grinding through the chipper.

Then I wake up and feel anything but rested. I hope to never star in my own Halloween horror flick ever again.