Reflections at a Funeral

Tim and I attended the funeral of Joe, an elderly gentleman from our church’s congregation, yesterday.  For the first time in his life, Tim was asked to speak at a funeral. I saw his face Monday night when the Bishopric called to ask him to speak, the solemn responsibility he felt, how humbled he was by the task. We’d only known Joe a relatively short time, but our family had grown to love and care for this sweet man.

Joe was a quiet man who didn’t waste words. Despite his physical limitations and the illnesses he endured in later years, he didn’t complain.  Joe had this perpetual twinkle in his eyes, the look of a man who truly enjoyed living and appreciated the moment.  He never had children of his own, but delighted in his nieces and nephews, and always surrounded himself with pictures of their children in his hospital room.  Joe always asked us about our children and especially enjoyed watching active, mischievous Ezra at church.

We went to visit Joe while in hospice a few times over the last couple of months as a family. The trip wasn’t convenient, but the kids always behaved better on the drive than during other times. I think they sensed that this was important and they always brought their best dispositions into the hospital room. He became someone Ella thought and asked about, occasionally bringing him up in conversation, asking about her “friend Joe.”

While no one wants to have deep conversations about life and death with a four year-old, our relationship created an opportunity to share our faith, our beliefs about the purpose of life, and what happens after we die. It also helped her to perhaps comprehend a bit more that her grandfather died when I was young before she was born, but she will see him again one day.

As I sat at Joe’s funeral, I felt sadness that he was gone, but great peace as well. I felt a reassurance that his body was now free from pain, that he felt joy, that he had returned home. And I felt tremendous gratitude for this knowledge. Much of this peace and reassurance came from the lovely, heartfelt words and testimony my husband shared. He was clearly led by the spirit to testify of Christ and his words moved me.