A Bosom Friend (And some photos for Grandma and Dan)

Anyone who’s joined the enchanted world of Anne of Green Gables – via the books or movies – will recall Anne’s description of a “bosom friend.” In the book, Anne is talking to Marilla and their conversation goes like this: 


“Marilla,” she demanded presently, “do you think that I
shall ever have a bosom friend in Avonlea?”

“A–a what kind of friend?”

“A bosom friend–an intimate friend, you know–a really
kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul.  I’ve
dreamed of meeting her all my life.”


I recall listening to Anne share this innermost desire as a girl and feeling that longing for a kindred spirit, a friend to love you in spite of yourself, to trust intimately, someone who will always give you the benefit of the doubt, who can’t help but forgive you. The kind who focuses on your merits, rather than your flaws. Like many young girls, I wanted to both be that friend and have that friend. I couldn’t imagine anything more wonderful.


While I’d watched the movies a number of times, I didn’t actually pick up LM Montgomery’s books until adulthood. I loved Anne – flawed, silly, smart, often well-intentioned, but misguided, prideful, stubborn, determined, optimistic despite her situation. And I took heart in Anne’s sweet, intimate friendship with Diana, which endured despite their opposite natures. Like many friendships, theirs seems unlikely, until you realize that each had to offer just what the other needed. I think in many ways each girl loved the other simply for being what she was not, for offering what she lacked. They felt whole together.


As a young girl I imagined, like Anne, finding this friendship with a girl. It seemed that this kind of bond could only be formed with another female, someone who could relate to what it meant to be a girl. At the time, that type of closeness with a boy seemed unrealistic.


Reading the book in adulthood, I realized that I’d discovered this type of friendship, but not in the place I’d expected as a girl. When I looked up from my book, my hoped-for bosom friend, that kindred spirit, was there in the form of my husband. Before you begin rolling your eyes and tuning this out as one of those let-me- tell-you-why-my-marriage-is-perfect-posts, this is not one of those posts.


The great truth about this type of friendship is that it is enduring, despite the trials, misunderstandings, hurts, and disagreements it is bound to experience. Beyond all the things Anne imagined, it’s also the friendship where someone sees in you what you don’t see in yourself, where they trust you even when you’re a jerk, and forgive you because they know it will be their turn some other time. Your kindred spirit also has a way of letting you know when you’re getting it wrong without making you feel like you’ll never get it right.


And, even when times are not at their best (because they are bound to be hard at times), when you have to work harder to feel close, when one of you (me) is being especially difficult, you might feel frustrated, you might be biting your tongue, you might be thinking something’s got to change, you might have to eventually share some hard truths, but you never truly doubt your friend, consider an end, or look for a way out. Because, like Anne imagined, this is your kindred, spirit, your bosom friend – the one you’ve dreamed of meeting all your life.