If you are pregnant with your first child or in the throes of baby #1, don’t worry: this is not one of those posts intended to tell you to enjoy what you’ve got because life is so easy compared to what it could be. Some of the most important lessons I’ve learned as a mother are 1. It’s all relative, 2. You can’t expect to parent all of your children with the exact same strategies, 3. You should enjoy today because it will never be the same again, but this doesn’t mean it’s easy.
The thing is, I’ve totally been there.I’ve been worried and thrilled simultaneously as I cared for my first baby, overwhelmed by what I didn’t know and amazed at my own instincts. I’ve wondered how I would manage with two kids and still meet everyone’s needs and somehow figured out a new routine and rhythm of motherhood. Two weeks in, I’m still trying to figure out the groove with three kiddos and a summer of togetherness ahead of us.
This morning, I was laughing a bit as I thought about my experience eating out with my family on Saturday night. A couple walked past the our table, the man carrying an infant car seat, and the woman followed in her make-up and coordinated outfit with accessories. I instantly thought, “Ah, first baby.” The truth is, things have progressively changed for me with each baby – mostly different, not necessarily better or worse. Well, some are worse. Here are a few examples:
Baby #1: We’re going out to dinner. The baby is sleeping. Maybe I have time to put on some make-up.
Baby #3: We’re going out to dinner. The baby is sleeping. Ooh, I’d better rest. I should probably put in some nursing pads before we go.
Baby #1: I want to take a shower, but I’m not sure I can leave baby alone. I’ll set her in the bouncy seat right next to the shower in case she cries. Do I have time to wash my hair?!
Baby #3: I want to take a shower. Are the big kids occupied? Baby is sleeping in the other room. Guess it’s now or never. Good thing I’m the master of the under 5 minute shower.
Baby #1: Everyone keeps telling me to nap when she naps, but there’s so much to get done. I’m so tired, so I’ll take a little nap. I feel so guilty for napping so much.
Baby #3: Mom comes to visit, helps with the kids, and says, “Go take a nap with the baby.” You don’t have to ask me twice. I arrive in the bedroom faster than roadrunner.
Baby #1: Hubby asks “How many more weeks?” I feel bad for him and say, “It’s 4 more, but maybe the stitches will heal faster.” I feel bad for him.
Baby #3: Hubby asks, “How many more weeks?” I say, “4.” I love the guy, but I just gave birth to our 3rd child. No guilt here. 6 weeks will be here before we know it.
Baby #1: Hand Sanitizer? Check. Better make sure everyone washes their hands before touching or holding the baby.
Baby #3: Hand Sanitizer? Check. How long has it been since the kids washed their hands? Repeated multiple times per day: “Don’t put your fingers in the baby’s mouth!” “You’ve been picking your nose. Go wash your hands before touching the baby.” Sigh. This baby will have some awesome immunity.
Baby #1: My diaper bag is prepared for every possible eventuality or emergency. My back aches from carrying it. What if I’m out and don’t have _?!”
Baby #3: Diapers and wipes for 2, wet bag, changing pad, maybe an extra onesie and a pacifier. Forgot something? I’ll figure it out.
Baby #1: She’s crying!
Baby #3: He’s crying.
Do you have any of your own to add? I’d love to hear them!
Congratulations!!!!!!! It certainly does change by #3! I laugh when I think about how I was with my first and how I am preparing for #3. Everyone keeps asking if I’m ready. I laugh since each of ours are almost exactly 2 years apart. I always respond with what could I possibly need that I don’t already have???
I remember the diaper bag when he was little now i grab a couple dkapers and wpips and acup lol
congrats on the new addition.. I can’t think of anything to add.. seems you have become a pro at this. Love your blog.!
You could have been writing about me and my four for everything except the one about your Hubby. For me, we waited less and less time after each baby. When I had my fourth, we only waited 3 days!
Misfit Momma
I always wondered how much I would change with a subsequent baby, but I only had one. I was sure I’d be calmer, less anxious. But who knows, right? Only thing we know is it would have been different.
can i just tell you how much i enjoy reading your posts? It is such a gift you have! Thanks for the realism! I am so thrilled for you and your 3 wee ones 🙂
Much love to you!