Dear Small Business Owners, Engage Me, Invite Me to Learn More, but Please Spare Me the Lecture

Most days, my facebook feed is teeming over with status updates and links from small retailers and WAHM businesses. I follow them to show my support, to receive product updates, to try and win something, and to watch for specials. I appreciate the online/small town store vibe this can create. It’s also an interesting way to get information about how a product is made and to appreciate the people behind a business.

But lately I’m seeing a trend in facebook links and blog posts that I find disconcerting. Apparently, small online businesses are being trampled upon by greedy, uneducated consumers looking for freebies, unrealistic discounts, and advice. To combat this, retailers post “information”, usually passive-aggressively, via links to articles written by others. The posts generally use a condescending, even combative, tone. They lecture to their audience about the real costs of handmade items, how deal sites hurt small businesses, why anyone who believes free shipping is a good deal is an idiot, and how small business owners are the life blood of the economy.

Now I’m not disputing that many of these posters have valid points. It’s their tone and the method of disseminating the message that I take issue with. Let’s be honest. If I am a pesky customer to Amazon and Zuliy, they don’t respond by lecturing me about how they deserve my business, why I should pay more for their services, and how my ignorance will be the downfall of their livelihood. They create a business model they can stand behind and retain customers by emphasizing their strengths. In fact, one well-known company recently deviated from this model and their customers responded by leaving in droves.

I try to be an educated consumer. I want to support small, family owned businesses and encourage WAHMs to support their families through creative endeavors. While shopping with these types of vendors, I often find myself in awe of their God-given talents and appreciative of their passion for the products they sell. It feels good to buy from a local store or the online mom and pop business over the big box retailer. I don’t, however, feel that I am somehow obligated to buy from these vendors or that I shouldn’t consider all of my options when making a purchase.

If money, location, and time were not issues, I would always choose quality over quantity. All of my produce would come from a farmer’s market. I would only buy fair trade merchandise. Not a whit of my purchases would say “Made in China.” I would ignore the sticker shock found at a small, brick and mortar retailer and vow to never frequent well-known dot coms. My pay pal account would have a long list of charges monthly for gorgeous, handmade items from etsy and artfire.

Money, location, and time do matter, however. I live in a small, midwestern town with few retail options. To offset the cost and time associated with driving to the city for shopping, I do a fair amount of purchasing online. I also find myself running last minute to stores with “mart” at the end to buy goods that I simply need right now.

With the different purchases I make, I try to keep in mind who I’m supporting with my dollar. I also want to be a wise money manager and stretch my budget as far as I can. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve visited  a sale and enthusiastically started to fill my cart, only to realize that the shipping costs cancelled out the savings and I simply could not justify purchasing items at that price. Or the times I’ve been torn about where to buy an item because I value customer service and don’t always want purchases to be about the bottom line.

But, let’s be honest. Small businesses aren’t perfect and they don’t always provide an idyllic experience for consumers. Small business owners send confusing messages to consumers by participating in twitter chats and forums and inviting participants to contact them “any time” with questions, then complaining later when individuals ask for advice without a follow-up purchase  They also encourage customers to follow them in hopes of winning something, then complain that their followers are thrifty. And the absolute worst offense small businesses commit: publicly mocking or complaining about difficult or frustrating customers. It’s unprofessional and off-putting.

Just like most small business owners would probably say they provide these links to target a small percentage of customers with their message, the same could be said here. I love being associated with a community of talented, passionate small business owners and WAHMs. Most of them spend their days positively promoting their business and providing high quality customer service. I prefer to frequent their establishments, but I don’t want to be constantly lectured about why I should shop with them.

I consider myself a customer worth having. Not because I have a great deal of money to spend, but because I am loyal, I like to try new products, and I love to talk about them. If I have a good experience with your business, I tell people about it. If I love your product, I talk, blog, tweet, and link up on facebook about it.

I don’t mind positive messages about how my purchases help a family, support the economy, or promote positive business practices. This type of information helps me to be the educated consumer I am striving to become. I don’t, however, want to constantly hear about why I should feel guilty for purchasing from larger retailers or be shamed into purchasing from small businesses.

My message to small business owners: Keep my experience positive. Stop lecturing me about why I shouldn’t be shopping elsewhere. Provide excellent customer service, offer me incentives to purchase from you, create a unique product, and demonstrate that my business matters. Show me what makes your store worth frequenting.  If I’m a happy customer, I’ll be back and I’ll bring others with me.