I’ve read that money is the number one reason couples argue. I suspect that kids toys come a close second: what to buy, how to store them, how many you need, when to donate them.
In our house, I’m the softy. I firmly subscribe to the notion that play is kid’s work. I want my kids to have variety to stimulate their imaginations and keep them engaged. My husband believes that less is more. When he looks at the toys, he sees a mess.
We’ve lived in our house 4 years, adding 2 children and tons more toys to the mix. This past Christmas, we moved our two older kids into a bedroom together and converted the third bedroom into a toy room. We were tired of having toys everywhere and wanted them consigned to a specific location. I kept a few things – an art table, easel, and play kitchen – upstairs so the kids could play while I cooked.
It worked for awhile, but the kids thought “It’s a toy room, so we don’t need to pick up.” I grew tired of hearing them say “Where’s (insert toy here) mom?” Family “clean up parties” grew tiresome and I was sick of organizing the toys in bins so the kids could find toys and play with a few at a time, then finding them dumped out everywhere. I didn’t want to constantly push my kids to pick up enormous messes and I wanted them to value what they have.
This past weekend, Tim suggested we just box up the toys and let them have a select few at a time. Once they learned to pick those up and care for them, they could have more. I surprised myself by saying “Ok. Let’s do it.” I didn’t want to lose my nerve, so I immediately started tackling things and gave away the desk and easel, two cool toys sitting unused and taking up space.
I wish I could say the process felt terrific, but it actually felt terrible. I hating boxing up those toys and the empty toy room makes me feel sad. But I want my kids to learn to care for their things and I want to dedicate more time to other areas of my home I’ve been neglecting because of the toy messes everywhere.
I want to be a good example of being neat and organized. And I’m not. I don’t think the kids will be the only ones with items boxed up until they can decide what they’ll use and learn to organize them. I’m next.
For now, here’s what the toy room looks like.Wish us luck. Any experiences you have to share or advice is more than welcome!
I have a fantasy where we donate some toys in this process and keep favorites. I would love to see them organized in these bins and have stations throughout the room: space for a dollhouse, the train set, trucks/cars, ponies, a kitchen, and tools. But that’s already too many things…
I’m interested to see how this goes! I have on my to do list ‘go through Nathaniel’s toys – ruthlessly’. Chris has more of a want to save things then I do because he didn’t have many toys when he was little. I’m of the ‘he hasn’t played with this in months let’s get rid of it’ mindset. And that’s the way we are going through them next time!
Zane and I are both in the Tim mindset. I agree the bins look a bit lonely (you know, mostly empty), but I don’t see why they would need more than a set of toy bins each. Obviously, my kid is a bit older than yours at 8, but she is down to a select few toys at this point.
I am more nostalgic about toys/items than she is, so that helps (her!) in the weeding out process. We always get the room fairly bare before birthday and Christmas …. so it’s not so overwhelming after!
Hope that does the trick with your kiddos!
We have been known to resort to these types of lengths prior to birthday and Christmas. Another option is to just not have so much out at a time – ever. Rotate toys. That was our saving grace when Natalie was about Ezra’s age. Less overwhelming to manage, and “new” toys periodically.
Hope your kiddos have some success and it gets a bit easier for you!
We’re rotating these days, too. We do have a lot out, it seems, but we also have a bunch in the attic. We have only done one swap so far, but it was a big success – the kids got really excited about toys they hadn’t much cared about before. Sometimes when I don’t feel like a mess I bring a certain bin out of its usual place and put it somewhere unexpected – duplos suddenly appear on mom and dad’s bed – it’s almost a guarantee that they will play with those in that strange place for a half hour, out of the sheer novelty of it! As far as messes go, though, it’s been a long, ongoing process. Devin’s better than I am about getting them to clean up periodically – even after just 15 minutes if they’ve changed what they’re playing with – to keep it more under control and with the distant hope that this will some day occur to them.
I seriously could have written this post! I recently went through my kids’ toys after urging from dh and I sold them at a consignment sale. I made $408, and we are talking at no more than $5 a toy AND I only received 65% of my sale. I am hoping I can continue to purge their toys, esp during holidays and birthdays (which are the end of Dec & Jan.)
My guess is, that when some of the boxed stuff gets brought out, it will get all kinds of attention, as if it’s brand new again. We used to put some of my son’s toys away for a few months at a time. It kept him focused on a few things at a time and kept his enthusiasm for those things up. Now as for the picking up… I don’t have any words of wisdom, but the room looks nice and tidy!