A third child is great for your family. It’s not always so great for your marriage. This phrase has escaped from my mouth far too often of late. We even have a very delightful, smiley, congenial baby the third time around. But life is demanding: Work already takes dad away from home most of the day and Ella goes to school. We’ve got drop offs/pick ups, swim lessons, girl scouts, family night, church, play dates, and service activities. Add the mundane household chores, dinner, and spending time with the kids and it’s hard to find one on one time with your spouse.
My mom surprised (and delighted) us by coming for a visit over Christmas break and I decided to ask if she’d mind watching the kids while Tim and I went on a mini getaway. She agreed and it was by far the best Christmas gift she could have given us!
We considered taking the train into Chicago and wandering the city, but some friends kept recommending going on a romantic getaway instead. It wasn’t cheap, but turned out to be the best advice. This trip wasn’t about the destination, but about spending time together. I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed the drive to the Chicago suburbs without kids to worry over or how much I loved being a bit aimless while we waited for our hotel check in time.
We stayed in an amazing place focused on retreating from the world and simply being together. It was exactly what I needed. I haven’t felt that relaxed in six and a half years (since I found out I was pregnant with my first). We kept the tv off, disconnected from the internet (mostly) and I didn’t fret over my kids. Going on an overnight getaway isn’t always possible, but I highly recommend it. I want to do this quarterly, but yearly is more realistic.
As I look forward to the New Year, I want to incorporate more date nights – at home or out – that honor the idea of disconnecting, focusing on conversation, and separating from distractions. We might not be able to go on a retreat every month, but we can:
– Turn off the tv
– Disconnect from the internet
– Find fun two person activities.
– Be spontaneous and go on unplanned adventures.
What are your favorite date nights? How do you make sure you have quality time with your spouse?
It’s so important but most of us don’t take the time! February we are having our first two night getaway from Nate ever and I’m excited because I can’t wait to just hang out!
We’ve reinstated a once-a-week date/game night (at home, after our daughter is in bed). Board games are great because there’s no TV or laptops, just casual conversation and fun. I bought my husband a game called Rivals for Catan for Christmas…it’s specifically made for 2 people, only takes about an hour to play, and is so fun. I highly recommend it!
You know, now that mine is 17, we find he is often out of the house for periods of time where the two of us are home alone. If we were a couple who hadn’t taken the time for “us” when he was younger, I don’t know what we’d do with ourselves. You hear about couples who barely know each other when the kids leave the nest. But we did try to work in “us time” (it wasn’t always easy) and it pays of in the long run. Good for you. Keep it up! And Happy New Year!