“Is there just vanilla ice cream?”
We were headed to the promised land of small children: McDonalds. My husband and I pinky swore years ago never to take our children there (Super Size Me was all the rage), but living in the Midwest winter with the play place calling their names broke my resolve. And once you take your kids to the golden arches, you can never go back.
With 50 cent cones for the summer, an ice cream cone fit into my budget as a surprise treat for the kids. We were headed home from a relatively successfully afternoon at the park – “I don’t want to go to that park mom – on a hot afternoon and ice cream seemed the perfect treat.
Then it started.
Ella: Where are we going for ice cream?
Me: McDonalds!
Ella: Is there just vanilla ice cream?
Me: Yes. But it’s McDonalds!
Ella: Are we going inside? Can we get lunch? What about milkshakes?
Me: No. We’re getting ice cream cones.
Ella: Can we get those things with the candy in them?
Me: No, Ella. We are getting ice cream cones. You don’t have to get one.
Ella: Can we go home and put toppings on them?
Me: What kind of toppings, Ella?
Ella: Like candy and sprinkles.
Me: We don’t have those things, Ella. Just ice cream cones. We’re going to enjoy vanilla ice cream cones, but you don’t have to.
We drive up to order.
Ezra: Mom, is there just vanilla?
sigh.
I feel like we’ve struggled with this more than ever, especially with summer vacation and exposure to commercials on cable tv. They see a commercial – I want one of those! I have to have it! It’s time to leave a playdate: I don’t want to go! You’re mean! You take them out to eat: But I want a kid’s meal! Sometimes it’s funny. Oftentimes it’s an infuriating struggle over something you intended to be special – a treat, a new toy, a special activity – and you just want to (and sometimes have to) thrown in the towel over the whole thing.
But they also live in a world with a myriad of choices. There are restaurants to choose from on You want this. You need this. You need more!
every corner. Big Box toy stores overwhelm even me with their options. Books and movies tout must-have companion merchandise. You can’t even leave some children’s museums without exiting through a toy store. And the message is
I (clearly) don’t have any magic answer to conquering the “gimmes,” as dubbed by the Berenstain Bears. I do know that setting boundaries (We’re getting vanilla cones. You don’t have to get one), earning and saving money to buy things you want, the give one away method, and demonstrating the value of things that aren’t things will all play a role. The trick sometime is perspective and realizing (and hoping) that these are long-term solutions, so they will still push for a milkshake and candy along the way.
How does your family combat the gimmes?
One of the reasons we only allow our children to watch some cable networks or recorded shows is to avoid commercials. My oldest is at an age when he asks me to buy everything he sees on TV. Yeah, that’s not going to happen. Like you, setting boundaries is something we do to help in those situations.
Growing up, the motto in Jeremy’s family was that you can have anything you want as long as you earn it. I’ve tried to adapt this for our young kids too, with varying degrees of success. I think the most important thing parents can do is to be consistent…easier said than done. 🙂
When I say no, I mean no. The hubby, on the other hand, sometimes back peddles, which is something he is working on with my help.
Haha! Cute story. With my 13 year old I can just tell him logically that he can have xyz as a reward for abc or whatever. My 2 year old doesn’t communicate well enough to get into the gimme game yet.
I think we’ve been helped by the fact that we don’t watch live television in our house. Ever. So that means no commercials.
It wouldn’t work for ice cream cones but for toy gimmies, we have a perpetual Christmas list. Whenever they want something from TV or a store and they don’t have their own money to spend, I tell them to put it on their Christmas/Birthday lists.
By the time it is near Christmas, they don’t remember half the stuff on the list, nor do they want it.
The only thing it doesn’t work for is my son’s addiction to games for his Ipad/Kindle.
My daughter is still a little young to have this problem, but I do watch 2 boys a couple of days a week this Summer. Sometimes we go for walks to a convenience store to get an Icee. And they struggle with the idea of going for a walk for the sake of going for a walk, without purchasing an Icee. But when I say no, I mean no.
Wow,you said it they are bombarded with advertising all day long. As a parent you have to set boundries!
I have to admit this summer I have been spoiling my daughter. I am 8 months pregnant and have been craving ice cream nearly everyday. She is 2 and also loves ice cream… Unfortunately I think I have created an ice cream monster lol. And you definitely can’t beat 50 cent cones 🙂
I would carry a jar of sprinkles in my purse . we love the $.50 ice cream cones at McDonalds I do wish the had chocolate too though.
I have not dealt with this yet, my 3 year old is still happy with whatever he gets. But I am sure it will happen soon enough. We love the Berenstain Bears, glad to know there is a book to help teach this topic.