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Last week, I chatted with a mom at the library while our boys played away in a toy farm, then a miniature kitchen. We were commiserating about imaginative play with our kids, groaning a bit over the sometimes dull, heavily scripted play directed by a tiny tyrant. She laughingly told me, “Sometimes I don’t think I can handle yet another play session of My Little Ponies saving the world, making my pony say the same lines as yesterday.”
I nodded in agreement because the scenario sounded like a scene pulled from my day. Except the story was cooler coming from her home. You see, we have an eclectic mix of toys at our house to accommodate three ages, two genders, and varied interests. This means that any moment you could walk into the toy room and see ponies conversing with cars, dump trucks picking up doll clothes, and everyone cuddling a baby. I’d like to say this is because Tim and I are such forward-thinking parents, but I think it is mostly just from having a big sister with two adoring younger brothers.
My friend’s house is different. They have two sons. I know it’s 2013 and it’s not revolutionary for a home with only boys to enjoy My Little Ponies instead of only traditionally gendered toys. In my personal experience, however, it is a bit uncommon. And I don’t think it should be.
I try to take cues from my kids, so I can purchase them toys they will truly enjoy, not simply boy or girl toys. I’ve given “girl” toys to my little boys when their sister outgrew them. I also find myself wanting to resist kitchen sets and doll furniture that is pink and floral, but find it frustrating that “gender neutral” sets are often more expensive or non-existent. A boy can, of course, play with a pink toy, but I think there is an underlying message that the toy is meant for girls with the colors, packaging, and placement in the store.
My two older children own tea sets, thanks to their grandmother. Ella received her tea set as a gift
and Ezra loved hers so much, he asked for his own. It’s fun to see the way they interact with the sets and to watch their creative differences. My boys also enjoy dressing up with their sister and have been known to don a tutu, crown, or princess shoes, while she puts on a dinosaur or cowboy costume. I also love to see my daughter help create an elaborate train set and my boys cuddle a baby doll.
So many toys are targeted toward boys and girls, sending them limiting messages about imaginative play. Why should a girl go into a “boy” section to pick out a rockin’ car, a robot, or monster truck? Why are kitchens, baby dolls, and tricked out doll houses flushed in pale pink and distinctly removed from primary colored trucks and trains? Even a tool or Lego set that is “girlified” tells a girl she needs a “special” subset toy. I’d love for my kids to walk into a store and not receive such strong messaging about what they “should” be interested in.
In general, our toy room has some clear gender lines, not because we’ve purposefully set them, but because the kid’s natural interests tend towards the traditional. And I’m okay with that, as long as no one is shamed for enjoying something that doesn’t conform to stereotypes or feels certain toys aren’t for them.
A group called Let Toys Be Toys convinced Toys R Us UK to remove gender labeling recently and the chain agreed to change store labels and advertising. Let Toys Be Toys has a mission “to stop limiting children’s imaginations and interests by promoting some toys as only suitable for girls, and others only for boys,” according to the Huffington Post. The move is receiving some push back as overly liberal, PC thinking. I personally believe it’s a positive step to rethink the advertising of toys and I’d love to see how this challenges advertisers to think outside of the gender stereotype box.
What’s your take on “boy” and “girl” toys?
Great post! My daughter has so many different toys that she also likes to mix up. I let her be as creative as she wants!
I have 2 girls. They love to sit and play in the dirt. They adore their trucks as much as their dolls. They want to play with all the boy toys we have as much as the girl toys.
I remember my daughter saying one day that she shouldn’t like trains because they are boy toys.. we straightened her out really quickly and have encouraged that when we see a Thomas book or whatever that she read it. We talked about how cool trains, and trucks, and airplanes are–modes of transport are just as awesome as princess and dress up. I’m not sure who told her that (possibly another kid)–but we’ve always encouraged equal opportunity toys and toys that are as GN as possible. doodler boards, balls, shovels, farm sets, etc.
I personally wish that toys were more simple with fewer tiny parts so that everyone could enjoy everything without the choking hazard issue. That’s why we like wooden puzzles and so on, too.
There’s an infographic that I found on gender specific toys that I loved. Does it require genitals to play with it? Yes = not for children No = either a boy or a girl can play with it.
I have two daughters. Most of the toys we have were hand-me-downs and whatever they want to play with is fine with us. When we get a happy meal for our toddler (second daughter is a baby), we often ask for the boy toy instead of the girl. Trying to remember how that all started??? I think because the boy toys usually you can do more with than the girls toys. And, honestly, our daughter enjoys making a toy out of nothing. For instance, she made a “violin” using a small tennis racket type thing (someone gave it to her, I’ve forgotten the actual purpose of it) and one of those glow stick bracelets!