You Can BE the Farmer

We’re driving to baton practice, just me and my girl, and I decided to ask,

So,Ella. What do you want to be when you grow up?


Mo-o-o-m. You know what I want to be. I want to be a farmer and ride horses. (duh)

Very cool. 


But, mom. How do I become a farmer?


I start to formulate an answer and then she says,

Oh. I guess I become the farmers wife?


I almost slammed on the brakes in surprise, then caught myself, and said,

No, honey. You can BE THE FARMER. You don’t have to marry a farmer to own a farm. You can marry a farmer if you want to, but you can be a farmer either way.


She thinks for a moment and then asks,

So, how do I get my own farm?


I recounted this story to my husband later, laughing a little as I thought it over. Despite the fact that I fancy myself a feminist, I realize that my daughter sees me in a very traditional light. I’m happy with my choices to be a stay and work from home mom, but this experience shocked me a bit. It made me realize that my daughter (and her brothers) might not understand what I did before I became her mom or dad’s wife, what I actually do now for my hobbies and work, and my hopes and dreams for the future. And I should invite them into my world more.

I think one of the most exciting and empowering thing for a girl is to understand that she can own her dreams, that they can be fluid and changing, and that she can be independently successful.
I can’t buy my daughter a farm or even probably get her work on one for now, but I think we can do something about the horses.  I’m thinking maybe we should start finding the money for horseback riding lessons.