With the popularity of social media and online interaction, faith, religion, and spirituality are natural topics for sharing. Some faith groups, including mine, are even encouraging members to use social media as a missionary tool. The internet, and Facebook especially, has the potential to be a place for engaging religious dialogue. It also has the potential to become a religious minefield of misunderstanding, judgment, and divisiveness.
I’ve made plenty of missteps when it comes to sharing online and I’ve witnessed more than my fair share of others doing the same. I think heated debates, hurt silences, and unintended insults can generally be avoided if we do the following before posting about faith on the internet.
1. Make it Personal – This is the most important guideline for all social media sharing. Resist the urge to just send that quote, thought, or link into the universe without a preface or comment. Readers are much more likely to gain something meaningful from your post if you provide context and a personal connection to the topic.
Consider ways to make it personal for others, too, by asking questions and seeking to learn from
their insights. Great missionaries aren’t just looking to teach or share what they believe, but to engage with others and learn with them. Some of the most faith-promoting experiences of my life have come from seeking open dialogue with people of different faiths.
Avoid photos or quotes that make broad generalizations about everyone or make negative statements about a group or individuals (intentionally or unintentionally), even if you like the overall message. If you like one part of an article, but see problems in other areas, say so.
Refrain from tagging others or posting directly on their wall and literally making the message about them. Even if you have a message for your ranting aunt or your wayward brother, or a response to a post from someone else, don’t direct it at them.
A good rule of thumb to remember: Passive Sharing often equals Passive Aggressive Sharing.
2. Check Your Motives – Exploring motives before posting religious photos, quotes, or links is especially important because of the sensitive, personal nature of the topic. The goals of sharing religious information to inspire, inform, or engage in meaningful dialogue are admirable. When motives veer toward correcting, shaming, or making a point, it’s probably time to rethink your post.
Interventions, attacks, or calls to repentance are not especially effective on social media. In fact, these are a sure recipe for “how to lose friends and influence no one” and make for awkward family reunions and in-person social gatherings. Remember, if someone blocks, un-friends, or simply
removes notifications for your posts, you can’t influence or inspire them at all.
3. Consider Your Audience (and Customize it) – Many people have Facebook friends lists in the hundreds. While these people may have friendship with you in common (lucky people!), it’s also likely they have diverse backgrounds and experiences. If you’re posting something of a sensitive or personal nature, you simply must post something that could be controversial, or the topic is very particular to friends with similar religious sensibilities, consider (and customize) your audience before posting.
This might mean pulling out a particular quote and sharing how it has personally impacted you or why it has helped you through a difficult time. Don’t forget that you are “sharing” on “social” media in a place that welcomes comments, so don’t post if you aren’t comfortable with public dialogue about a topic.
If you don’t feel prepared for open dialogue or feel some friends might not be capable of respectful conversation, customize your audience for this particular post. Better yet, rethink how you can approach the topic, so you don’t miss out on the insights and experiences of those hundreds of friends.
4. Use The Real Life Conversation Test – If you wouldn’t bring the subject up at a party or in a conversation with a friend, rethink its place on Facebook. If you wouldn’t make a point or say something the way you just typed it in polite conversation, edit. It’s easy to relax our social filters behind our computer screens, but Facebook is not anonymous. In fact, online social interaction actually requires an increase in social finesse because tone and facial expression are absent from the conversation.
Reframing Facebook as a conversation can really change the way we share as well. You would never bombard a friend with a series of quotes or hand them a three paged article without comment or context. You would most likely reference what you saw or read, share your thoughts, and ask questions. If you want to be an effective internet missionary, think of each post as a conversation starter, where you will do some talking and lots of listening.
Remember that some conversations are best saved for a phone call, a meet up for dessert, or impromptu convo with a close friend.
5. Invite Dialogue – Think of your Facebook posts as opening up a dialogue with friends. Share something that is meaningful to you and then consider asking a question or providing a prompt to encourage discussion. Ignore the “What’s on your mind?” Facebook status prompt and replace it with “What kind of dialogue would you like to have with your friends?”
Avoid the “It’s My Wall, I can Say What I Want” pitfall. We have a tendency to use the terminology “my wall” or “my Facebook page,” especially as a way to defend inflammatory posts or our frustration with dissenting comments on our posts. In truth, the whole goal of Facebook is to connect people and ideas. Once you put something on your wall, you’re opening it up for conversation and that is a good thing.
You wouldn’t walk into a party and announce, “I have something to say! I’m just going to put it out there for everyone to hear, but I don’t want any comments – unless you agree with me.” When you post on Facebook with these same criteria, you’re essentially saying the same thing.
Our Facebook walls are actually more like doors or windows into our minds. Once we put a post out there, we’ve opened that door, invited our friends to come inside, then told them to go ahead and comment on our walls. If you don’t want dialogue and something is just for you, that’s what actual walls and fridges are for – hang your favorite thoughts there. If you are only looking for engagement with like-minded people or unfiltered conversation, find a private Facebook group and contribute to the conversation there.
7. Be Sincere and Open – Your friends will know when the things you share come from the heart. Be sincere and open to the experiences and perspectives of others. Make your goal engagement, not conversion, and sharing your faith on the internet can be an inspiring, faith-promoting experience.
I liken it to a politician giving a speech. They get up there, blather on about things that aren’t even remotely personal to them (when’s the last time an uppity up bought their own groceries, and they’re telling ME about the bottom line?)– and then don’t have anything to say to questioners.. because of course, they don’t know!
I ditto the no shaming thing!
I think this can go for any post on facebook. I really can’t stand when people post something offensive and then say they can do what they want because it’s their facebook.
It’s a surefire way to be deleted, in my opinion. 😉
The “be respectful” point is fantastic. I have a whole lot of friends on my Facebook of all different beliefs. Pagan, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Sikh, Buddhist, etc. Sexual orientations, too. When my friends, as diverse as they are, cannot respect that I am different than them and that’s okay, it’s a turn off. After all, why are you friends with me in the first place if you’re going to spout fire and brimstone across my newsfeed?
I totally agree with Motherhood Looms comment, but it also goes both ways. There are many posts from “friends” which are inappropriate and sometimes offensive to me. It makes me wonder if people consider what they post before they post it. Sometimes it’s difficult to turn a blind eye when people are repetitively posting content that is not respectful or professional. Yes, it’s social media. But, it’s important to consider the consequences of those posts.
This is one of the best posts I’ve read on a blog in a long time. It is a unique topic I haven’t really seen discussed elsewhere. I am a member of the same faith as you and this has been something I struggle with. I don’t share anything religious very often, and when I do I try to stick with things that would be uplifting to ANYONE. I fond your rule #4 (Use the Real Life Conversation Test) to be particularly helpful. Thank you for the excellent tips!
This is one of the best things ive read on internet faith sharing. So many times i see people shy away from a message just bevausr it wasn’t presented in a thoufhyful manner. Go you!
I find that sharing faith conversations on facebook is really helpful. There’s been many times where I am struggling that morning and could use the support. Or someone brings something to light that I hadn’t put the words to but someone posted exactly what I needed to hear.