What was the worst part of your day?
It’s a simple question and one my kids weren’t sure how to answer at first. When I initially started asking it each night at the dinner table, they would look at me hesitantly and often respond, Nothing.
What was the best part of your day?
This query proved easier to understand and answer. They would think for a moment, pondering the different moments of their day, then share a glimpse of the highlight of their day.
Once I started making these questions a consistent part of our evening meal, the process became more natural. I alternate which child I start with, then move around the table to include adults as well. Questions for my two year-old include What made you sad today? and What made you happy today?
I love these seemingly simple questions because they push past the often-failing questions of How was school today? or What did you do today? The questions are personal and specific. They give each person a moment to ponder, share, and talk. They sometimes reveal the hurt or frustration my kids are keeping inside and reveal the things each
one considers magical and memorable.
These conversations even gives the kids a glimpse into Mom and Dad’s day. We have best and worst moments, too, and they enjoy hearing our contributions.
Last night, for example, both kids revealed the worst parts of their day: Time Outs. Sometimes we just smile over this, but other times it’s an opportunity to calmly talk about frustrating moments for all of us and how we could have handled them differently. Other days, the kids share hurt feelings on the playground or frustration with a rule at school, opening up a family discussion and allowing us to support one another. Some evenings, they take a moment to ponder their day and declare, There wasn’t anything bad. It was just a good day.
The best part of a child’s day can be as simple as breakfast for dinner or as complex as describing a game they created with friends on the playground. Best moments include when Dad comes home or coloring pictures with Mom. I like to finish with this question because it encourages feelings of gratitude and ends the conversation on a positive note.
Have you tried asking your children these questions? How has it changed your dinner conversations?
I’ve not asked these kinds of questions… but I like them and I think I’ll have to start!
This was how dinnertime was for my family growing up (with an added Geography lesson from my dad each night). I’m SO glad to be moving, as this means that my husband will be home for dinner AND we can share dinner as a family 🙂