You won’t see one of those Facebook break-up posts from me anytime soon. My original love of Facebook came from the connection it gave me to friends and family at a distance. We could share glimpses of our everyday, funny photos, and even a morning’s frustration without picking up the phone or sending an email.
I adore many of my internet friends who’ve become Facebook friends, taking our friendship a bit farther than the standard blog friends. I enjoy interacting with readers on my Facebook blog page, connecting with groups of like-minded individuals, and even participating in some online social activism.
Sometimes, though, Facebook can cause us to believe in a somewhat distorted reality. It’s a place where we interact behind a computer, sometimes showing our artificial best selves, other times letting loose the ugliness we generally hide behind facades of politeness. We post a meme, like an outrageous post, tell an offensive joke, or post about a pretend life and this begins to color our reality.
My involvement in some recent activism, something deeply personal to me, reminded me how Facebook can never replace real-world interaction, face to face conversations, and grassroots work in our communities. I was buoyed by the larger community of like-minded, passionate individuals I found on Facebook, but wary of participating in an echo-chamber. When I ventured beyond that group, however, the judgment, spite, contempt, condescension, and downright meanness pierced me.
I bemoaned these interactions to my husband one afternoon and he replied that there are always small, loud minorities in any group – this didn’t mean they represented the whole. And he was right – Facebook is a microcosm of a much larger world, a garbled version of reality. It’s a great addition to my life, but should play no central role in my life beyond connections that enhance my everyday.
I made a commitment this week to simplify my life and to pick up a book or choose another activity when Facebook came calling. It was a simple goal, but it made a big difference. I felt lighter, more in control of my time, less distracted, and less irritated. I maximized my Facebook time to scroll past the irritants and focus on the connections.
And then one day she realized that Facebook was an artificial world. A good place to share photos, stay connected, and sometimes know you’re not alone in your views. But just one small world within a much larger, living, breathing, vibrant world. She didn’t need to disconnect always, but just to make it one piece of her world; a distorted reflection, rather than a mirror image.
I discovered this when i gave it up for Lent last year. I’ve gotten sucked back in though. It seems like a necessary evil for blogs. You have to have to get new followers, but then..new followers can’t see your content unless you post it 3x a day and annoy people with saying ‘like this pleeeeeeasee!!!’ argh.
People dont want you to have less than 1,000, 2,000, 5,00o, or 10,000 before they sponsor a review in some cases. It’s maddening.. because if you’re tiny, you’re going to stay tiny unless you buy your likes.. but who wants that?
sometimes i wonder if i’m sharing too much or not enough. people dont ‘get’ me. people arent always kind (yes i am guilty too)…
but the connections i’ve made i wouldnt give up for the world!
I am thinking about deleting my facebook account. I am just getting really tired of the political bullshit. Racist hateful stiff about immigrants. It is ironic that most of us have ancestors that were not born and yet we feel we are losing something if other people come here too.