✔ Baby fed.
✔ Diaper changed.
✔ Baby burped.
✔ Gas pushed out.
✔ Baby pooped. (Diaper changed again).
✔ Swaddled.
✔ Rocked.
✔ Lullabies exhausted.
✔ Bath.
✔ Lotion Massage.
✔ Diaper changed (again).
✔ Baby fed (again).
Baby still crying.
Sometimes you work all of your mommy/daddy mojo to help calm a crying baby. You try every trick in the book, then try them again. You’re exhausted and emotionally on the ledge. Those cries are breaking your heart. You want to fix things. But baby is still crying.
Our fourth baby, Sebastian, is bringing us back to the days of our second child, Ezra. With Ezra, we continued through this cycle for months, trying different strategies to soothe him. He wasn’t magically soothed by the swing like his sister, he detested the car seat, and seemed to have a “crying time” at least once a day. We’re seeing this pattern again with Sebastian.
My reputation as “The Baby Whisperer” is failing me. Baby is crying and I can’t fix it. I have to remind myself every day that it’s not my job to “fix” things. I can:
✔Love.
✔Soothe.
✔Remain calm.
✔Nurse.
✔Comfort.
✔Meet baby’s needs.
And sometimes baby will still cry.
In these moments, it’s important to do a self-assessment. Are you feeling frustrated, edgy, exhausted, disheartened? Are your needs met? Setting down a baby whose is still crying when his or her needs are met is not the same as letting them cry it out. Sometimes, you need to set baby down to maintain your sanity and renew your energy to continue caring well for baby. This can mean:
✔Going to the bathroom alone.
✔Stepping away to take some deep breaths.
✔Hydrating yourself with a cool glass of water.
✔Taking a quick, refreshing shower.
✔Preparing a healthy snack or meal.
✔Putting on music to lighten your mood.
✔Calling a friend or partner for moral support.
✔Asking another adult to care for baby while you recharge.
This won’t magically change baby or stop the crying, but it will help prepare you to return to baby calm and ready to try again. Baby might still cry despite your best efforts, but the crying will pass and this will not last forever.
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