The Year Our Hearts Grew Two Sizes

Ella tiptoed into the boy’s bedroom the other night, her finger to her lips. She interrupted our story, excitement in her eyes. ” You have to come see this! It’s so cute. But be very quiet.”

Curious, we followed Ella into the next room, and I watched my three older children surround their baby brother in delight. Sebastian had fallen asleep during sister’s story time, cuddled in her sweater. They silently exclaimed their joy and shared smiles as they peered down at this:

The three years between Kai and baby seems to have eliminated potential jealousies and competition, for now. Kai views himself as baby’s protector, friend, and companion. If I need to grab something or go to the bathroom and baby might get upset, Kai is instantly at the ready to be “baby’s friend.” When baby Sebastian cries in the car, Kai can often be heard trying to soothe him with, “I love you, baby. Don’t cry. No. I love you baby.” Ask Kai who is best friend is and he’ll reply, “Baby.”

I won’t pretend that a fourth baby hasn’t stretched our family. I’m tired and often fall into bed at night. When the big kids arrive home from school, I stop counting the times I hear “Mom.” The challenge of meeting the changing needs of older kids and the familiar needs of a baby humbles me daily. When I think of the impact of having a fourth baby on my big kids, though, Ella’s sweet observation comes to mind. She told me about a month ago, “Mom, the only bad thing about having a baby is we fight over who gets to play with him.”

This baby boy’s arrival came as a gift to every member of our family. Sebastian’s eyes light up whenever one of his siblings enters the room. He is someone to love unconditionally and receive only love in return. With baby, they are tender, kind, patient, eager, and silly. His accomplishments are universally celebrated. His cries receive instant responses. Someone would hold him all day if they could.

Ezra’s tender nature is most evident with his baby brother. When the world can easily frustrate him, baby is an oasis. Sebastian easily laughs at his big brother’s silliness and eagerly grasps his finger. Their companionship is happy and easy; something to look forward to each day after school.

Sebastian is a joy to our family; cheerful, curious, companionable, often at the ready with a smile. I am excited to see him grow into his complexities and quirks. One day, Sebastian will be on the move and talking, certain to drive his siblings crazy. I know these feelings of Kumbaya won’t last forever, but I’m drinking it in for now; filling my reserves for the future. I will remember this as the year our hearts grew two sizes; the year Sebastian joined our family.