I used to watch What Not to Wear and judge those moms with their yoga pants, mom jeans, and muffin tops. I would never become one of those pony-tail, tennis-shoe moms. And then I had four kids and learned the reality of muffin tops and motherhood.
I’m still a sucker for a makeover show. I believe that clothes help express who you are and a good hairstyle can bring out your best features. I can even be found watching youtube videos on how to make victory rolls and wing my eyeliner. These things are a fun hobby, a break from the ordinary, a way to feel good. But they are not required for me to be presentable, suitable, or acceptable in public.
Erin McKean‘s quote telling us that “Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female'” hit home for so many women because we needed to hear it. Women are deluged with products, magazines, television shows, and blog posts telling us how to look pleasing.
We shouldn’t be too dowdy, too sexy, too concerned with our looks, or overly neglectful of them. If we women want to be taken seriously, we need to avoid leggings, high rise jeans, low rise jeans (muffin tops), gray hairs, sweatpants, work out wear outside of the gym, sensible shoes, and too high of heels.
Trust me. I love to get dressed up. I asked for retro glasses for Christmas. My closet is jammed packed with dresses. I also go many days without make-up and my hair is currently in one of those odd ponytail-bun hybrids. It’s a pretty big win that I’m wearing a well-fitting bra.
I had a baby 16 months ago and my belly looks terrible in all pants. I need skinny jeans to wear with boots, but I’m not skinny. Natural waist jeans seem ideal, but I’m high waisted. Pants for “curvy” women fit me right at first, then stretch out and slide down to give me a distinctive muffin top.
I could stay in until I meet my health goals, lose weight, and look acceptable in pants. But I have things to do, a life to be lived. Some days I conquer the world in yoga pants and other days I rock winged eyeliner and a sassy skirt. Either way, I don’t owe it to anyone to look a certain way in order to be taken seriously.
Maybe you have had six kids and you sport a six pack. Maybe you feel your best in a pair of heels, even at the park. Perhaps you’ve been known to drop your kids off at school in pajamas a time or two. Whatever your goals, whatever you wear, hold your head up high. You worth is not dependent on you dressing or looking a certain way. Be you, muffin top and all.
Yes! I don’t fit into my maternity pants any more. I put on a pair of my pre-baby pants yesterday and muffin doesn’t quite cover it. Maybe cinnamon rolls? Haha! Just a few months ago my belly was so big. So, so big. I have carried and delivered 4 babies. As far as I’m concerned my body is amazing. These weight loss companies, skinny wraps, weight loss pills, shakes and all those “fit Mom” programs targeting new Moms aren’t appealing to me. I think we should get a pat on the back and a “good job, you made humans!” instead of questions about how close we are to our pre-pregnancy body.
Oh, I so agree! I have never been one to concern myself with what others think when it comes to my appearance. As long as I am clean and have some sort of clothing to cover my body, I am happy. I refuse to buy over priced clothing and/or shoes just because others do. Nor do I care what others wear. I use to have a friend who would not go to the end of her driveway to check her mailbox without “dressing up” and wearing perfectly applied makeup. I never did understand her need to do that.
Absolutely! ‘Be you’ – that’s it. I think us moms have to stick together and not judge each other so harshly – whether it’s each other’s appearance or parenting choices or whatever.
Yes! So much yes. I was so determined to lose the baby weight after my first; it became less of a priority with my second, and now expecting my 3rd I’m just embracing my body, trying to do little things to stay healthy and active and a body positive example to my kids.
It’s a constant battle. Between kids and fibromyalgia, my weight is always at the top of my mind. People tell me I’m crazy, but I can’t break the habit of worrying about how I look! Heres hoping that one say, something will knock some sense into me 😉
I love this post. So true! I am about to have my first kid and I have always been a curve girl. Before I got pregnant I was done to my lowest weight and now, at seven months pregnant, I’m getting bigger and bigger. I just hope I can hide my muffin top until I get back to that weight.
I totally agree! Even though I try to look presentable when I go to appointments n stuff it doesn’t always happen. And honestly I don’t care half the time I’m just glad I was able to make it there at all. LOL!
I love this!! Our bodies are so strong – we have done incredible things. We don’t need to look a certain way but it is hard with all of the messages out there. Great read!
So true!! I was one of those people who judged the moms until I because one!! You don’t know the struggles one makes just to get out the door let alone all dolled up. And really who cares??!! And why?! Be proud for who you are 🙂
So many conflicting messages out there on how we should look and I remember what not to wear. I watched it often and was so glad when they toned down the jokes and meanness. Just going on that show had to be hard even if you did get a great wardrobe and hair style! I have had 7 kids and for most of it I was muffin top free and slim to skinny but I had an eating disorder to get that. Everyone has their story so don’t judge them or be hard on yourself be happy with life in the now. We owe ourselves that .
I vote for wearing whatever makes you happy and comfortable!! I feel like when you feel awesome you look awesome 🙂
I know just what you are talking about
I love what my hubby says “what’s the best part of the muffin , the top right!!” God I love this man
I do what makes me feel happy and comfortable. I am not out to impress anyone. Just be myself, muffin top and all. 🙂
I’m four months post-baby, I shower less than I probably should, I haven’t had a pedicure in almost six months, and I do my makeup by nightlight before I leave for work so I don’t wake the baby. My days off are spent in yoga pants and nursing tops because that’s what fits. But, my baby is happy and healthy and that’s all I care about!
ughh muffin top yes i still have it . I think its the hardest thing to get rid of:(
I always wear what I’m comfortable in.
This sounds so familiar.
I so needed to hear this today! We just took a family picture and I thought I totally rocked it. 3 smiling boys all matching my hubby and me in “my” color. Then I get the photos and do I notice my great hair or fabulous shoes, nope! All I can see is my muffin top. So I know everyone sees it on me every day but in my mind it isn’t quite so obvious.