Have you ever been in that waiting place? In between school, a job, a relationship, your next adventure, your next anything? Our family is in that place right now and I feel like Dr. Suess is living inside my head. I know it won’t last forever, but right now it feels never-ending. For anyone else in that waiting place, this is for you.
Living in the Waiting Place
We live in the in-between spaces.
Waiting, hoping, wondering where we’ll go next.
Patience is a virtue I have yet to master.
I’m practicing it daily now.
I wake up with a knot of uncertainty.
My stomach complains at the site of food.
Yet, I crave anything sweet, salty, carbonated,
prepackaged in a crinkly wrapper.
I talk to the old me;
The one who viewed law school as an adventure 3 years ago.
I shake my fists at her,
Wishing I could rewind and say, “Don’t pass go!”
I mourn who I was when troubles were simpler
and my discontents were different.
Yet, I like who I am today
And don’t really regret this “adventure” that’s shaped me.
The kids look up at me trustingly,
wanting reassurances and solid info about what’s next.
I can only offer platitudes, continuity,
and promises of a yet-unknown good to come.
The not knowing is the worst.
What-nexts eat at my stomach and gnaw at my mind.
Some days, I remember that I am a conqueror of what-ifs.
Others, I want to curl in a blanket and hide from it all.
I reach out to the future me and ask for reassurances.
She made it through to the other side whole.
She is confident, happy, settled,
Embarking on a new adventure.
For now, I live in the waiting place,
Determined to keep moving, doing, trying
Imagining the boom bands ahead.