My Highest and Holiest Calling

My church created a new website, meant to honor moms this coming Mother’s Day. The website asserts that motherhood is “the highest and holiest service assumed by humankind.” My first thought? This assertion should say “parenthood” in place of “motherhood.” But this proved dissatisfying too. So, I asked, What do I consider to be my highest and holiest calling?

For me personally, my highest and holiest calling could be summed up by Strive to become like Jesus Christ. But in a world of rich religious diversity, this could more universally be described as Striving to live in a way that prioritizes love, service, and hope. My highest and noblest calling is to contribute positively and meaningfully in my community and my world, trying to honor my God.

Can motherhood (or fatherhood) contribute to this calling? Absolutely. For those who choose parenthood, this humbling, challenging, beautiful
opportunity can be life altering. Parenthood is an excellent way to prioritize love, service, and hope. We look to honor our parents on Mother’s and Father’s Days because we recognize the sacrifice and contributions our parents (whomever we consider to fill these roles) made in our lives.

But some won’t feel called to parenthood. Others will feel drawn toward it, but for many reasons will not become parents. What is their highest and holiest calling? Does the ability to reproduce or the  opportunity to marry, raise children, or adopt put some at an exclusive advantage for discipleship? No. Do all individuals who can be considered parents treat the opportunity as holy? Absolutely not.

I appreciate Mother’s Day as a way to stop and express my gratitude to my own mother and adore receiving handmade tokens of love from my children. I don’t appreciate Mother’s Day as an occasion to place mothers on a pedestal, raising their “calling” above that of men or individuals who for varied reasons are not yet or will not be parents. I dislike sitting through contrived-feeling religious services where mothers are reminded how we are just as important – no more important! – than fathers and most certainly equal, if not better. Then, because we don’t want anyone to feel left out or excluded (although many already do), we listen to platitudes explaining how all women by virtue of innate nurturing qualities can be universalized as mothers. This is an important sentiment, but perhaps not a balm to hurting souls when they hear in another sentence that motherhood is their “highest and holiest” calling, followed by a myriad of stories emphasizing traditional mothering.

When I consider motherhood, I view it as one part of my path to discipleship. It is one calling among many, a highly consuming role now, and one that will change with time. I hope to raise my children through love and service, guiding them to find a positive purpose in life. As they seek to serve God, I hope they consider parenthood as one way to do this honorably. I hope they feel no need to raise me above their father or to define us solely within our roles as parents. Instead, I hope they view our parenthood as an important part of a greater whole.

In our faith communities and communities as a whole, we all admire, respect, and look up to individuals who find their calling outside of parenthood. Their path to service, their acts of love are no less holy or acceptable to God than those who choose parenthood. Their choices might sometimes come because marriage and/or parenthood are not options, but this is not always the case. Individuals are called to God in a myriad of beautiful ways; parenthood is just one way among many.

Honoring one group among us does not need to be done at the exclusion of others among us. No group needs to be minimized or marginalized to raise up another. If our highest and noblest calling is truly to be Christlike and strive to emulate the noble virtues of love and service, then let’s prioritize this. If our services and messages are always centered around this idea, then no one is marginalized and the message is edifying for all. Beautiful stories of parenthood, traditional and non-traditional, can be weaved throughout our services and messaging, a lovely choice and calling that is just one part of the greater whole of discipleship.