Congratulations are in order! After nearly 9 years of hard work and dedication, I have finally unlocked the “Weird Mom” achievement in parenting. You, too, can successfully reach this parenting boss level, but you’ll need master many important skills along the way.
With the excellent examples of my mother, sisters, and even a friend or two, I embarked on this parenting journey. I felt confident I, too, could hear my daughter proclaim, “You’re weird, mom!” This phrase might feel as though it comes out of the blue, but I’ve been preparing for this for years; mastering skills, collecting tools, and defeating mini-bosses along the way.
I have successfully unlocked the following skills:
1. Dancing outrageously to popular music, until I reached the boss level and successfully heard, “That is the worst dance ever, mom. You look weird.”
2. Singing off-tune with abandon (this also makes you cool at an earlier stage in the parenting game).
3. Kissing my husband where the kids can see.
4. Crying while reading emotional scenes from Harry Potter.
5. Randomly saying famous lines from movies, such as “As you wish.”
6. Challenging my kids to a eye-roll off (I totally win).
7. Speaking my own brand of gibberish when they are persistent, not listening, or need a silly distraction.
8. Trying out retro hair and make up tutorials. (“You look better without that stuff on your eyes, Mom.”)
9. Causing my daughter to worry that I might embarrass her in front of her friends.
I could not have reached this milestone alone. I would like to send shout-outs to the individuals who participated in co-op levels along the way:
1. My husband, Tim. Also a poor dancer, off-key singer, participator in PDA, and all-around annoying guy.
2. My children’s friends, who have shown them the ways of eye rolls and sighing.
3. My mother, who mastered “Weird Mom” in the ’80s and taught me phrases that frustrate children from every generation, such as “If wishes were fishes, we’d all live in the sea.”
If your children are 5 and under, do not attempt to unlock this level. Focus your efforts mini bosses, such as “Mom Who Survived Public Tantrum,” “Functions on Three Continuous Hours of Sleep Mom,” and “Mom Who Didn’t Cry at Kindergarten Drop Off.”
Don’t despair, though. You can unlock the “Worst Mom Ever” and “Best Mom Ever” achievements daily with kids of any age. I’ve already collected the coins from these twice today and it’s not even noon yet.
Lol! Is it wrong that I totally want to embarrass my kids when they’re older? I have a feeling it will bring me much satisfaction. I grew up with Distant Mom and Absent Father so don’t have a personal example, but I think if honey and I just keep being us that it will come all too naturally! Good work!
My son is only 4, and I’m pretty sure he already thinks I do weird things sometimes.
I haven’t reached this level (with my kids anyway). But I’m sure it’s coming any day now with my oldest! 🙂
I loved reading this article! My almost 6 year old already thinks I’m pretty weird. He just doesn’t know how cool I really am, ha-ha.
Bwahahaha thats hilarious im in the unlocking mini boss coins i cant wait to ve a weird mom!!
The sad part is getting there without even trying. 🙁
I would totally win the eye roll contest as well, although my daughter would come in a close 2nd. I wouldn’t win the weird mom trophy as I wouldn’t be dancing… ever… nor do I sing out loud. :/ Bummer.
Lol, I’m trying to work my way up there too, I already do a lot of the things you do! Oh I just can’t wait til my son gets in middle school! I’ve been planning for years to roll up blasting nsync or boot scoot boogie when I pick him up for school! That’s not too cruel is it?
Isn’t it the fun part of being a mom? Well seriously though, my son stopped telling me things because he was afraid I would embarrass him. It was after he told me that I thought best I stop because it was only fun for me, not so much him.
It is an important line, for sure! My kids still confide in me, but I don’t want that to change.
I am trying my best to achieve this level and I am pretty sure I will get there soon enough…
My LO is under 5 still, so I have some time to work on this, but I definitely remember when my dad was “SO weird!”
And he still is! lol